


The Sky Is Falling

by protectginozasquad



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Father-Son Issues, Flight attendant AU, Kougino - Freeform, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4385633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectginozasquad/pseuds/protectginozasquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charming businessman Kougami Shinya finds his endeavors to endear himself to the attractive flight attendant foiled. Inspired, as usual, by a tumblr AU post.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Is Up In The Air

**Author's Note:**

> I rated it M because it's got the word fuck in it? I don't know how ratings work guys, so I'm sorry if that's not a thing. Embarrassed Kougami is pretty much my favorite thing in the universe. Modern-day AU. Also, Kunizuka and Kougami are really good friends. I mentioned Akane, and she might show up later? I don't know what I'm doing with this. It just kind of happened. Enjoy!

Kougami is sure it’s the fasten-seatbelt noise that he’s hearing. Or he’s about to hear an announcement from the captain.

It has to be. 

He’s sure, until... the flight attendant lazily makes his way from the front of the airplane back to Kougami’s row. 

Kougami is traveling with his business partner Kunizuka for a meet-and-greet with potential business clients. They are both marketing representatives for a big-shot software company. It isn’t something Kougami wants to do forever, but it pays well and he gets to travel, something he has longed to do all his life. 

Kunizuka is in the middle seat, Kougami on the aisle side, and for some reason, he can’t stop pushing the damned flight attendant button. 

The attendant is a tall, lanky, black-haired man with vibrant green eyes peeking out from under his bangs. 

“Is there something else I can get you, _sir_?” The venom in the flight attendant’s voice is palpable. This is the fourth time this has happened, and they haven’t been off the ground for more than forty minutes. The plane ride is five hours long. 

Kougami’s face flushes yet again. 

“N-no,” he says uncomfortably. Kougami isn’t used to this. For one thing, the flight attendant is unspeakably attractive. Kunizuka snorts next to him. 

Kougami senses that if she didn’t know better, she would think that perhaps he’s pushing the button on purpose, to get the flight attendant’s attention. 

But Kougami is a much better flirter than that. He prides himself on his charming way with men and women alike. It’s gotten him this far in life, after all. 

Instead of making the attractive flight attendant weak in the knees, contrarily, all he has actually managed to do is very successfully piss the beautiful man off an unprecedented amount in such a short while. 

Kougami kicks Kunizuka lightly in the shin, silently pleading with her to stop laughing. He glances at the flight attendant’s nametag covertly, attempting to at least apologize correctly.

“Um, it’s Nobuchika, right?” 

The flight attendant doesn’t even blink. “Amazing. You can read.” 

Kougami flinches. “Well, I’m sorry. I don’t fly much -,” which is a lie, Kougami flies all the time - “and I’ve never flown this airline before -” which is true - “The buttons are a little bit different.” 

Nobuchika rolls his eyes. “Well, if you can read, I would expect you to be able to see the simple icons on the buttons. Maybe I’ve set the bar too high, though.” 

Now Kougami is irritated. Or, at least, he wishes he could be irritated. Instead, he’s flustered, embarrassed, and can’t take his eyes off the man. How could someone so clearly pissed off be so alluring at the same time? It was infuriating, in an exciting way that Kougami is desperately trying to ignore. 

“You know what,” Kougami says in what he hope sounds like an equal level of irritation. “I think I would like a gin and tonic, if it isn’t too much trouble.” 

Nobuchika’s green eyes burn themselves into Kougami’s head. Kougami isn’t sure he can take this. The man has turned the most aggressive glare in the world to one of the sexiest looks Kougami has ever seen. 

“All right, sir. I’ll have that for you in a moment.” 

Nobuchika walks stiffly towards the front of the cabin, and Kunizuka takes the opportunity to poke Kougami roughly. 

“Oi, Kunizuka, that hurts!” 

Kougami meets her eyes. She is smirking delightedly. 

“Kougami Shinya, master of flirtatiousness, charmer of men and women everywhere, is thoroughly smitten with his flight attendant, but can’t seem to do anything other than rain the man’s hatred down upon him,” she laughs. “I can’t wait to tell Akane about this.”

“Whatever,” Kougami says heatedly. “I’m doing this on purpose,” he lies, knowing how lame he sounds. 

“The hell you are.” 

Kunizuka and Kougami had worked together for years. She knows how to call him on his bullshit, and she has no problem doing so. 

“The only thing you are doing is falling head over heels in a way I’ve never seen before, and embarrassing the shit out of yourself because you aren’t good at not being in control.” 

Kougami glares at her. Of course, she’s right. 

The captain makes an announcement that they have reached an acceptable altitude, and that the flight crew will be making their way down the line passing out refreshments and taking drink orders. 

Before the other attendants start down the row, Nobuchika walks back with a small plastic cup, full of clear bubbly liquid and a lime. 

“Good thing you got your drink order to your boyfriend early,” Kunizuka whispered in Kougami’s ear. 

“Shut up!” 

Nobuchika stops at their aisle and looks at Kougami with an indecipherable stare. 

“I looked you up on the passenger list, Mr. Kougami.” Kougami winced. 

“You can just call me Kougami, if you want,” he says, feeling lamer with every sentence. 

“Mr. Kougami,” Nobuchika practically runs over Kougami’s words. “If you could refrain from taking my attention away from the other passengers for at least fifteen minutes, I would be eternally grateful.” The words drip with sarcasm. 

Kougami tries to smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair.” He takes a sip of his drink.

As Nobuchika walks away, Kunizuka whispers in his ear. “I bet there’s other parts of him you’d like to get into though,” and Kougami just about spits the gin onto the passenger in front of him. 

“Will you cut it out?!”

About an hour later, things have calmed down. Kougami is hyper-vigilant, holding a book into his chest and squeezing his arms in tightly, fear of pressing the button absorbing his thoughts. 

Nobuchika walks up the cabin, checking on all the passengers, making sure no one is hungry or thirsty, replenishing drinks, passing out pillows or blankets as needed.

Nobuchika reaches Kougami’s row, and taps him on the shoulder. 

“I just came to make sure you didn’t need anything else, Mr. Kougami.” 

“Oh! Nobuchika! I didn’t see you coming,” Kougami lies again. Every time the flight attendant so much as makes a move, Kougami’s eyes follow him. Kunizuka is right. He’s mesmerized. It’s hopeless. 

Kougami clears his throat. 

“Hey, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” 

Nobuchika raises an eyebrow suspiciously. 

“I’m Kougami Shinya,” he holds out his hand hopefully. 

Surprisingly, the flight attendant takes it. “Ginoza Nobuchika.” 

Searching blindly for another conversation topic, Kougami says, “Do you like your work here?”

Nobuchika nods, but looks down the row after hearing a soft dinging sound. “Ah, that’s the first time I’ve been called by the button by someone other than you. It seems like _they_ have a reason, though.” 

Nobuchika walks towards another passenger, and Kougami curses quietly. Kunizuka is listening to music in her headphones, but Kougami has had enough panicking for one day, and he needs her help. 

He taps her thigh lightly. She looks up from her magazine. She takes one earphone out and says quietly, “What is it?” 

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Kougami’s eyes are desperate. 

“Oh, what? Are you having trouble stealing the dear flight attendant’s heart? And you want my help?”

As much as he hates admitting that she’s right, Kougami nods his head in resignation. 

Kunizuka claps her hands together in uncharacteristic girlish glee. 

“What do I get if I can get you his number?” 

“I’ll pay for your drinks for our entire trip.” 

Kunizuka eyes him pointedly. “Nope, the business is taking care of that. Try again.” 

“Hey, I’m no hustler! They’re paying for our food, not our drinks.” 

Kunizuka reconsiders. After a few seconds, she nods. 

“You must really like this guy. This is gonna cost you.” 

Kougami grinds his teeth. “Okay, okay, just help me out already.” 

“Don’t worry your handsome little head. I have the an idea. Let me up. I need to ‘go to the bathroom.’” Kougami isn’t sure what she means, but she winks as she heads for the front of the cabin. 

Nobuchika, Kougami notices, is actually stationed in the back of the plane for now. So what could Kunizuka be up to? 

After a tense fifteen minutes or so for Kougami, his business partner comes back to sit down next to him. She smiles with pride and hands him a cheap airline napkin with some almost indecipherable writing on it. 

“This is his phone number, his coworkers have never known him to date anyone, but he says he might for the right person, he lives alone, he has a dog, and this just so happens to be his last stop for the evening.” 

Kougami’s eyes widen in amazement. 

“How...?” 

“It was easy,” Kunizuka says matter-of-factly. “The other male flight attendant is painfully heterosexual, so naturally all I needed to do was show some skin, mention that my friend is interested in his friend, write the information down, and walk away. Easy as pie. Now, let’s call your boyfriend over here so we can start this you-buying-my-drinks-thing right.” 

Kougami laughs. “I sure as hell am not pushing the button, you do it.” 

“Gladly.” 

Nobuchika emerges from the back of the plane looking displeased. 

“Oh no,” Kougami whispers. “He thinks it was me again.” 

Kunizuka offers him a reassuring nod. “As much as I love to watch you flounder, I have to admit that I would love to be the one who witnesses this play out.” 

“Is this some sort of joke to you?” Nobuchika bends down, looks Kougami right in the eye, and jabs a finger into Kougami’s chest. “Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”

Kougami is frozen. With Nobuchika’s face so close to his, he tries very hard not to imagine what it would be like to kiss him and manages to squeak out: “It wasn’t me this time. Honest!” 

Kunizuka speaks up. “Actually, sir, I was wondering if I could order something to drink?” 

Nobuchika straightens up, clearly a little embarrassed himself. “Oh. Well. That’s a different matter I suppose. His gaze turns back to Kougami. “You can’t blame me for suspecting you, though.” 

“Well, miss, what can I get you?” 

“I’ll have a rum and coke. And, to be fair, put it on the gentleman’s tab, please.” 

Nobuchika nodded. “How chivalrous. Give me a moment or two. Anything for you, Mr. Kougami?” 

“Just Kougami, please,” the smitten businessman’s voice is pleading, desperate. 

“Fine. Kougami it is. Anything for you, Kougami?” 

“Just some water would be nice.” 

The flight attendant turns around tersely, and walks away from them. 

As soon as he is out of earshot, Kougami turns to Kunizuka and starts babbling: “None of this information is going to be any good if he hates the sight of me!” Kougami holds up the napkin dramatically. 

“He certainly won’t be thrilled to get a call from me once we’re off the plane. Do you have a suggestion to get him to stop looking like he’s about to murder me?”

The black-haired woman sighs. “Kougami. Listen. I know I have been teasing you a lot, but you are a great guy, and you need to show him that. Ugh, that sounded so gross and lame.” She rolls her eyes at herself. 

“I mean it though,” she says without looking at him. “He’s sour as a too-early apple, but he’s hot and he seems like he might cool off well. Clean up nice. You know. When he comes back,” she nods towards the back, “just try talking to him. Ask him if he has pets - we know that he will have to have some answer to that. I don’t fucking know. Stop acting like a child.”

She is trying to be reassuring, and in a harsh and unusual way. It works, too. Kougami straightens his shirt, takes a deep breath, and decides that he is going to succeed in at least getting the flight attendant not to hate his guts. 

Baby steps, right? He thinks to himself. 

Nobuchika arrives with a rum and coke and a glass of water. He hands Kunizuka her drink politely, and hands Kougami his water glass. The flight attendant’s expression has softened ever so slightly, which Kougami finds encouraging. 

“Nobuchika, I -” 

“Sorry about my attitude a moment ago,” Nobuchika interrupts him. “It was unprofessional and uncalled for.” Kougami swears he could see the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of Nobuchika’s mouth. 

“There’s no need to apologize,” Kougami says slowly. He’s trying to keep his words at a slower pace, after all, there isn’t a reason to rush.

“I could have been more aware of my surroundings and saved you a lot of trouble,” Kougami finds this the appropriate time to flash a smile. It’s genuine. He is truly happy to have met this man, however short and impolite their interactions have been. 

Nobuchika seems surprised at both the apology and the smile. Kougami decides to make this his moment to start a real conversation. 

“Say, Nobuchika, how does it work as a flight attendant? I mean, do you have shifts that end normally? Or do you just fly around up in the sky forever?” 

Nobuchika smirks, more playfully than before. “Of course I don’t fly around in the sky forever. That might be enjoyable in a way, perhaps. We take different legs of trips, and at the end of a certain leg is when your shift ends.” 

Kougami hums. “I see. Well, how many legs do you have left tonight?” 

Nobuchika’s cheeks change color just a little tiny bit. Kougami feels, for the first time, like he is doing a real job of flirting. Or at least playing, bantering, something.

“This happens to be the last of my legs. Normally they go quickly, unless I have some sort of _unruly passenger_ ,” Nobuchika’s smirk deepens. 

“You mean me?” Kougami says, feigning indigence. Kunizuka shakes, and Kougami knows that she is laughing at his overdramatic acting, but he ignores her and keeps his attention focused on the flight attendant. 

Nobuchika shakes his head mockingly. “No, certainly not you. You have caused me no trouble at all. I can’t imagine why I would think such a thing about you.” 

He smiles, a real, full smile, and Kougami feels himself beginning to lose control again. The man’s smile almost makes him dizzy. How could such a small amount of banter drive him so crazy? 

Nobuchika straightens up. “But, as you may not know, I actually still have some work to do, so I will be on my way for now.” 

Without thinking, without meaning to, without warning, Kougami grabs roughly at Nobuchika’s hand. The flight attendant’s face turns completely red, and he shakes Kougami off without a look back. 

Kougami turns around, buries his head in Kunizuka’s shoulder, and murmurs to her, “I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot...” 

Kunizuka pats his head. “Lovesick little puppy Kougami is so entertaining, and also very pathetic. But I think he got your point, and, you know, he is working. I think he’s warming up to you.” Kougami makes a frustrated noise. 

“I promise, he doesn’t want to murder you anymore, if that makes you feel any better.” 

The rest of the plane ride passes without much eventfulness. Nobuchika passes by them a few times and quickly asks if they want anything, without looking Kougami in the eye. Before the plane begins to descend, he brings them their check, and Kougami notices that he’s only been charged for Kunizuka’s rum and coke. 

“Hey, Nobuchika, I think something’s wrong with the check,” Kougami hopes fervently that the flight attendant will at least give him once more smile to remember, to walk away with, to think back on, however fleeting. 

Instead, Nobuchika simply says, “No, that’s the right amount. I double-checked.” 

Shrugging, Kougami signs for his card, and, on a whim, decides that he has nothing left to lose, and adds ‘thank you, Nobu. Affectionately, Kou,’ to the bottom of the check. 

When they deplane, Kougami looks Nobuchika in his beautiful green eyes one last time, and smiles in spite of himself. At least he got to see those eyes one more time. He still has the napkin with Nobuchika’s phone number in his pocket. 

At baggage claim, Kunizuka pokes him in the side, more gently than earlier on the plane. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” 

Kougami looks at her with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” 

“What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? I worked hard to get that number for you! The least you could do is try. Just send him a damn text message. You and I both know that you want to.” 

“But -”

“The worst he could do is say no. Don’t be a baby.” 

Sighing, Kougami pulls out his phone, brings up an empty message, and types in something simple: 

_“Nobuchika, this is Kougami. I know this is your last stop, so if you aren’t too tired, maybe I could buy you a drink for your troubles?”_

His phone chirps quickly. His heart races, trying not to hope. He opens the message nervously: 

_“Hello, Kou. I am quite tired this evening. Unruly passengers, you understand. But perhaps a coffee in the morning?”_

Before Kougami had time to register the information, another message appears. 

_“Nobu is cute, but I prefer Gino, if you don’t mind.”_

Something like relief or anxiety or a mixture of both floods Kougami’s chest. He grins stupidly, and Kunizuka pinches him. “Answer him!” 

For the first time, he realized she was looking over his shoulder.

“Whoa! Rude!” 

“Rude, my ass. This is all thanks to me. Now you set a time for a coffee date with that man right this instant or I’ll abandon you right here and make you find the hotel yourself.” 

“Okay, god, calm down.” 

Trying to hide his shaking fingers, Kougami types back, 

_“How does 9:30 sound, Gino?”_

The phone chirps again: 

_“It’s settled. There’s a good place on Bryant and first. 9:30. See you then.”_

Kougami lets out a huge sigh, and smiles at Kunizuka. "So what kind of drink can I buy you next?"


	2. Feelings and Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some dating! And flirting! And angst! Also Tsunemori comes in here. We're gonna get some super shinkane BROTP in this fic probably. Because they are a great BROTP, imo. Anyhow, enjoy!

6:00am the following morning, Kougami wakes with his heart beating nervously. He knows he should go back to sleep - he and Kunizuka were up late, they need to be on point for the clients this evening, it’s only going to take him a few minutes to walk to the cafe where he is going to meet Nobuchika. 

There is no rest for the smitten Kougami, though. 

As he lays in his comfortable hotel bed, he thinks about the men and women he has been with before. Serious relationships historically haven't really been Kougami’s speciality. As a traveler and someone who has dedicated his life to getting ahead in the business world, he tells himself that he doesn't have time for a real relationship. But if he's honest, when he thinks about himself, he sees himself as the settling-down type, who would be perfectly content with the right man or woman by his side forever. 

They would have to be pretty damn perfect, though. Relationships are messy and dangerous. People get hurt. Kougami knew, deep down, that the real reason he avoids relationships is fear. Fear of rejection and loss. 

He shakes his head at himself. What is he thinking? This is a stranger. How can a stranger make him question his philosophy on relationships? He needs to think more clearly. He barely knows this guy. 

He lays in bed for another half hour, trying to convince himself to fall back asleep, but to no avail. 

Kougami sighs and pulls the covers off of himself. He swings his legs of the bed and heads for the shower. As the water washes over him and warms him, he thinks about Ginoza Nobuchika, turns the name over on his tongue, gets used to saying "Gino" instead of "Nobuchika" and tries unsuccessfully to understand what exactly about the seemingly irritable and off-putting flight attendant that has him so rattled. 

His thoughts dissipate, and he steps out of the shower. 

A few hours later, Kougami is dressed, and leaves the room, his head buzzing with both anticipation and apprehension, excitement and nervousness. 

After a few blocks of walking, Kougami stands outside what he assumes to be the coffee shop the flight attendant had referred to. He stands on the corner of Bryant a first outside a quaint little building called NONA. 

He shifts his weight on his feet, trying to recall the last time he felt nerves like this. 

His phone buzzes, and he checks it, wondering worriedly if it’s Nobuchika canceling on him, only to find a message from the youngest of the company’s business executives and perhaps his closest friend, Tsunemori Akane. 

_“Hey. Kunizuka told me about the flight attendant, and that you’re about to have a date. I just wanted to tell you that you’ll be great - I mean you are great - and you should call me later to tell me about it. Love you.”_

Kougami smiles, marveling at Akane’s easy way of comforting him. He hears footfalls, looks up to see a dark-haired figure. His heart-rate accelerating, he quickly types back: 

_“He’s here. Thanks. I’ll call you later. Love you too.”_

He quickly shoves his phone into his pocket, and looks up to see Nobuchika standing in front of him. 

“Um, Gino, hey,” he tries out the nickname, seeing how it feels. 

Nobuchika laughs playfully and says, “Hello, Kougami. It’s nice to see you in a less crowded environment. Where you can’t push a button to get my attention. Every ten minutes.”

His demeanor has completely changed. The green-eyed man is smiling brightly, his bangs less ruffled, his uniform replaced with comfortable jeans and a light black sweater. Kougami can't deny that he looks gorgeous, in a subtle and lazy way. It's driving him crazy.

“Teasing me already?” Kougami’s nerves begin to ease a little with the banter. He notices that in the back of his mind is a burning desire to genuinely impress the man. He isn't sure what is so magnetic about the Nobuchika - Gino - but he's entranced. 

“Should we go inside then? Gino?” Kougami gestures towards the door. 

“Yes, let’s,” Nobuchika says. 

Kougami holds the door open for him, and the taller man heads for the counter. Kougami follows his lead, and glances at the menu. 

The barista is a short, brown-haired girl, who can’t be more than seventeen. Kougami can’t help but notice a resemblance between her and his best friend back home. It almost endears her to him, until he notices the way her expression darkens when she sees Nobuchika. 

“Nobuchika.” 

“Mika.” 

“To what do I owe the unspeakable pleasure,” as she speaks, Kougami is reminded of Nobuchika’s own painfully angry tone from the plane flight. “Of this visit?” 

Nobuchika doesn’t take the bait. Kougami isn’t sure exactly what the bait is for, but Nobuchika breezes by it with pleasantries. 

“Actually, this man here is treating me to a coffee. He was a difficult passenger on my last leg yesterday, so naturally he needs to make up for it.” 

She glowers at Kougami. He smiles at her, but her gaze doesn’t soften one bit. 

“Fine,” she turns back to Nobuchika. “What can I get you and your boy-friend?” 

Kougami’s cheeks get hot, but fortunately Nobuchika remains unruffled and doesn’t look over at Kougami. 

“I’ll have a cappuccino. Whole milk, please.” 

The girl punches some buttons rather harder than seems necessary into the register. She turns to Kougami. 

“And for the charming Ginoza’s booty call?” 

His cheeks still hot, Kougami wills himself into business mode, where professionalism outdoes pettiness. He steels himself, and feels his face cooling off.

“The name’s Kougami, Kougami Shinya. And you are...?” 

“Mika,” she snaps shortly. “Just Mika.” 

Kougami turns his expression neutral. Imagines that she is an angry client, who insists on being difficult for no reason in particular. He's handled plenty of these before.

“Well, Ms. Mika, I will have the same drink as my friend here. A whole milk cappuccino.” 

“Ugh, fine.” She rings them up, takes Kougami’s money, and starts fumbling viciously with the espresso machine. 

Nobuchika tugs at Kougami’s sleeve.

“That table, in the corner, by the window. Go sit there. It’s got a great view. And I can handle her,” he points in the barista’s direction. 

Kougami looks at him in confusion. 

“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting with you.” 

Nobuchika shakes his head dismissively. 

“She’s only going to get testier if you hang around.” 

“What’s her damage?” 

Nobuchika laughs quietly. “It’s nothing. Go sit.” Nobuchika shoos Kougami towards the table. 

He hangs up his coat on the back of a chair, and tries not to gaze in Nobuchika’s direction, but to no avail. His glance makes its way back to the flight attendant no matter how hard Kougami tries. 

He wonders at Nobuchika’s sudden change of heart. He had been so irritable the day before. He reminds himself that he was, in fact, a really annoying passenger. So the irritation made sense. But the extreme change is what surprises him. Not that Kougami is complaining, but he is still confused. 

Nobuchika walks back with both drinks and sets them carefully on the table. He sits down and looks at Kougami. The green eyes which were set on him so angrily the previous day are softer, warmer. Kougami is sure he could get lost in them if he didn’t get ahold of himself. 

“So,” Kougami says tentatively. “What’s with the barista?” 

Nobuchika laughs, and Kougami thinks it’s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. 

“Believe it or not, she's my sister," Ginoza says, fondly despite her ice-cold way of dealing with him.

Kougami's jaw drops. "What?! Your sister treats you that way?" 

"Well," Ginoza says. "Step-sister. My father remarried after my mother died, and my stepmom already had a daughter," he gestures towards the counter. "It's been about five years now, but some days she loves me, and others it's like we're mortal enemies." 

Kougami whistles. "Sounds complicated and frustrating." 

Ginoza shrugs. "I don't really blame her. My mom died, but her parents divorced and it was really messy. I think she blames my dad, and by extension, me, for her parents' divorce." 

Kougami shakes his head, as if trying to clear his head from the details. 

Worry tugs at the corners of Nobuchika's eyes. "Sorry to bore you with family talk. At any rate, let's talk about something else." 

"I don't mind, really," Kougami says. 

"Yes, but I can't have you knowing too many secrets, or I might scare you off," Nobuchika says this offhandedly, but if Kougami isn't mistaken, he senses a slight apprehension in Nobuchika's voice.

"I think I have a lot of making up for myself to do before anyone can talk about scaring me off. I did a lot of damage on that plane ride yesterday."

Nobuchika laughs again, and Kougami savors the sound, thinking of how he could listen to it forever. 

"I suppose so. Well, let's start at the beginning. What are you even doing in town here?" 

Kougami sighs. "Nothing interesting. I'm a marketing rep for a software company, and we have some potential clients hoping to meet with us and find out more about what we do." 

"You work with computers?" 

It's Kougami's turn to laugh. "Not at all. I just talk about them like I know something, and leave the rest of the work up to the pros." 

Ginoza cocks an eyebrow. "Charming people is supposed to be your area of expertise, then?" 

Kougami considers this momentarily. "I guess you could say that." 

The flight attendant eyes him playfully. "I wonder how they could keep someone so tactless in that kind of job." 

"Oh come on," Kougami shoots back playfully. "Can we just put yesterday behind us?"

"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have met up today if I was still holding the button-pushing against you," Ginoza says. "Although I'll probably milk it for all it's worth." 

"I guess that's fair," Kougami says. "Can you tell me more about being a flight attendant? Do you get to fly anywhere you want? Part of the reason I took the job I have is because I get to travel." 

Kougami and Nobuchika spend the next two hours sharing their stories with each other, bantering, and flirting. Kougami feels like he is on top of the world. He can't remember a time when he felt so relaxed and at ease around someone. The more they talk and laugh, the more Kougami wants to know about Nobuchika. It isn't that he wanted to pick him up or take him home (although that doesn't sound so bad either), but he wants to really know him. He feels like he could drink in the strange man's voice and wrap himself up in it. 

For the first time, he finds himself regretting his job, how it will fly him away, probably never to return. The feeling starts to gnaw at him, but he tries to push it away.

He keeps the feelings at bay for a while, but unexpectedly his phone begins to ring. He glances at it briefly. It's Kunizuka. 

He looks at Nobuchika and says, "She must be wondering what I'm doing for lunch. Our first meeting of the weekend isn't until tonight, so she'll figure things out."

But the calls keep coming. After the fourth phone call, Nobuchika finally says, "Kou, you should probably answer that, shouldn't you?" 

He had used Kougami's nickname. That is it. Kougami is head over heels. 

He answers the phone, trying not to sound too irritated, "What is it, Kunizuka?"

Kunizuka's voice is unusually loud. "Kougami, fuck, finally," she says dramatically on the phone, loud enough for Ginoza to hear. "I hope you've finished seducing your little traveling buddy," Kougami's face goes red and he drops his eyes so he doesn't have to look at the object of his affections. 

"Kunizuka Yayoi," Kougami says furiously. He saves her entire name for the rare occasion when he she really gets under his skin. "I'm a little busy." 

"Ooooh, my full name. I'm so scared. That's not going to work this time. I know you're not at the hotel because I went to find you, so I need you to emerge from whatever dirty bathroom stall you're fucking your boyfriend in," Kougami's face turns as red as it has ever been in his life. In his periphery, he can see that Nobuchika's face is a little flushed also, so she is definitely talking loudly enough for him to hear.

"Get to the conference room as soon as possible. A client called to cancel the meeting tonight and we really need to get them on board so Akane told them we'd meet earlier. She also says sorry for ruining your date," Kunizuka adds. 

"At least _someone_ realizes how rude this is. Fine, fine," Kougami says quickly, trying to get her off the phone before she says anything else mortifying. "How about half an hour?" 

Kunizuka sighs. "Half an hour is fine. Don't be late. We really need this guy. And, hey, I am sorry. Maybe this means tonight won't take as long." 

"Yeah, whatever," Kougami hangs up aggressively. He takes a deep breath and looks up at Nobuchika. 

"Sorry, Gino," the name rolls off his tongue as though he has been saying it his whole life. Everything feels so natural with Nobuchika. 

"She can be a little, um," Kougami attempts to excuse his business partner's explicit and suggestive way with words. "Forward." 

Nobuchika has recovered from his embarrassment already. "No problem. You should go." 

"I don't want to," Kougami says without thinking. 

Nobuchika smiles at him gently. "I know. Come on, let's get going." 

Kougami unwillingly drags himself up from his chair. They head for the door and Nobuchika calls back after them, "Delicious cappuccinos as always, dear sister." 

"Don't call me that!" yells Mika after them. 

Once outside, Kougami turns to look at the flight attendant. 

"This was great, I mean, you're great, I mean," Kougami stammers the words out, not sure how to say what he feels. He wants to tell Nobuchika that he feels that he's known him all his life, or that he wants to know everything about him, he wants to hear about his mother's death, he wants to go grocery shopping and drink coffee in the morning with him, he wants the mundane and the exciting and whatever is in between, he wants everything for him and with him. 

But those things take time to say, and Kougami has no time. 

"I am really glad I met you, Kougami Shinya," says Nobuchika. He says it like a final goodbye, and Kougami feels like his heart has stopped beating. Nobuchika turns to leave.

Kougami panics. In a flurry of feelings and a lack of inhibitions, he says, "Wait!" and when Nobuchika turns around, he grabs him by both hands and pulls him into a kiss. Nobuchika gasps against Kougami's lips, relaxes into it for a fleeting second, and then pulls back.

"Stop," he says firmly. Kougami freezes. Is it all one-sided? Does Nobuchika not feel anything for him?

"Nobuchika, _Gino_ ," Kougami sounds desperate. He doesn't sound smooth or sexy or romantic. He sounds like he's drowning. He says it like his life depends on it. 

"I didn't mean it - well, I did, but, I didn't mean to do it if you didn't want to," the words tumble out of their own accord. Kougami can't do a single thing to stop them. 

Nobuchika's face takes on a new expression, one of deep sadness, and it horrifies Kougami. The last thing on earth he wants to do is make the man sad. 

"You should go," Nobuchika says. 

"I don't want to," Kougami almost whispers. "Why... why do you want me to go?" Pleading, begging.

"I can't... I can't tell you..." Nobuchika pulls one hand away from Kougami, but leaves their other hands joined.

"Go, please."

"Can I see you again?" 

"I don't think that's a good idea. Goodbye, Kou." 

With that, Nobuchika releases Kougami's hand, turns around, and walks away slowly. Kougami's heart sinks, but he notices that Nobuchika's shoulders are shaking slightly. 

Kougami looks at his watch and curses. Only ten minutes to get to his meeting. Instead of chasing after Ginoza, which he longs to do more than anything, he turns towards the hotel and sprints with everything in him, not just to make it on time, but to have a pain to focus on that wasn't inside his heart.


	3. Peas In A Pathetic Pod

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kougami makes a fool of himself for like the fiftieth time. Have I mentioned that whenever I write Gino, I always picture him without glasses? I just can't stand them. He looks so much better without them.

Kougami makes it to the meeting on time, barely. Kunizuka gives him a look somewhere between irritation and pity before putting on her no-nonsense business face. 

Kougami follows suit, stitching the mask of professionalism on so tightly that no one would guess the panic raging inside him. 

The client, a middle-aged man in an expensive suit, looks at them skeptically, and spends the next twenty minutes explaining that his superior forced him to go to this meeting, but he’s perfectly happy with his other software service, and assumed that there isn’t anything that they can do for him.

Kougami, wound up and anxious from the morning’s events, seems to take this as a challenge. Kougami’s been known to take marketing aggressive tactics, but in his attempt to distance himself from his frustration and heartache, his tact disappears. As he insists upon the superiority of their product, his voice raises. Kunizuka tugs at his arm in a subtle attempt to calm him down, but to no avail. 

“...you probably don’t even know the difference between an internet browser and a computer’s hard-drive, do you?” 

“Kougami, shut it,” Kunizuka says, tugging his sleeve harder, her voice low, angry, calculating. 

“And what’s more, your firm can’t even have the decency to send someone who knows what they’re talking about to research a product that could vastly improve your customer service and reputation.” 

The client, who has had just about enough of Kougami’s berating, stands up, shuts his briefcase sharply, and says angrily, “I don’t think you have much of a right to talk about reputations and customer service. This meeting is over.” 

He leaves the room hurriedly.

Kougami rounds partway to Kunizuka. 

“I need to take a walk.” He moves for the door, but Kunizuka grabs him and spins him around. 

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going? And what the fuck was that?” Kunizuka raises her voice louder than Kougami’s ever heard it. This snaps him out of his revelry, and he suddenly realizes how unreasonable he’s been. 

Despite the realization, he’s still hurt and upset, and makes excuses for himself. 

“I’m a little on edge today, okay?” 

“Oh, is that all?” she shoots back loudly. “This guy was a big deal, and we’ll be lucky if he so much as calls us back.” 

“Yeah,” Kougami spits. “That’s all. Let go of me.” 

“Fine,” she releases him. “Go. But we might be royally fucked and I am not taking the fall for your goddamn emotions. Get out.” 

Kougami growls, but doesn’t look back and slams the door to the conference room on his way out.

+++

Kougami is back in his room, laying on the bed. He gazes at the ceiling blankly, feeling the strange sensation of numbness and electricity at the same time. His phone rings. It’s Akane. He doesn’t want to answer, but he figures he owes her an explanation. Besides, she’s the only business exec who won’t bitch him into next year.

“Kougami, what’s going on?” Akane’s voice is laced with concern.

“Hi,” he answers. “I blew it big time, didn’t I?” He puts his hand over his eyes as he talks into the phone. 

Akane sighs. Kougami can’t see her, but he knows exactly what her face looks like. He hates it when this happens. He knows that she doesn’t pity him, but he hates to worry her. What’s worse is that she’s the one who bears the brunt of his marketing mistakes. 

“Technically, that’s what I’m calling about,” she says slowly. “While the client is somehow still interested, he did call to place a complaint.” 

“Ugh. Is the board going to get rid of me?” 

She laughs quietly. 

“Hardly. You’re our top representative. Even Kunizuka knows that. I’m pretty sure that’s why she’s so upset. But they do want to make sure you know that your behavior was unprofessional, and they think that perhaps you should let Kunizuka handle the meetings tonight. You can get back to them tomorrow morning.” 

“I guess I got off pretty easy. So we can leave it at that?” 

“Wait a minute,” she says. Kougami knows what’s coming. “Professionally, this call is almost completed. Do you agree with the company’s assessment of your behavior and your suspension from now until tomorrow morning?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, okay?” 

Akane laughs again. “Well, then, representative Kougami Shinya and executive Tsunemori Akane have completed their check-in for the day.” 

Kougami wishes she would hang up. He knows she’s not going to, but he doesn’t want to talk to her about everything yet. 

“So... what now?” 

“Well,” Akane speaks tentatively, not wanting to tread further than Kougami is willing to go, but still trying to express concern, empathy, and love, in whatever way she can. “How much do you feel like talking about?” 

“Honestly, not much. But I probably should. Right?” Kougami knows that she is the best person in the world for him to talk to right now. 

“Only if you want to. Or need to. I’m here for you. I love you and care about you. Whatever you need.” 

Kougami smiles for the first time since Nobuchika turned away from him outside the coffee shop. 

“All right, Dr. Tsunemori, I suppose we should begin today’s counseling session in earnest.” 

“Kougami, I’m not your therapist, for the last time.” 

“I know, I’m just teasing.” His posture has relaxed, and he feels at liberty to stand up and put his shoes on. “I’m going to go for a walk while we talk. How much time do you have?” 

“I don’t have any more appointments today, but I’m going out for drinks with Sugo and Karanamori in an hour or so.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll give you a brief run-down.” 

Kougami walks out the hotel door and begins to walk aimlessly. As he does, he talks the whole situation over with Akane. His embarrassing behavior on the plane, Kunizuka’s very important role, how the coffee date was going so well... 

“And then, Akane, I just don’t know, he started talking like it was the last thing he would ever say to me. Why would he think that? We obviously connected and like each other. He just pulled away so quickly. It was like a reflex.” 

“Hmm.” Akane turns the thoughts over in her head for a few seconds. “It sounds like he’s a little bit afraid, but that can’t be too unreasonable, can it?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He has to know that you’re going to be headed back home in a few days. He has no reason to think you would want to stay connected to him. Plus, you don’t really have a right to frown on a fear of commitment, do you?” 

Kougami’s cheeks warm slightly at her disguised chastisement. 

“I just haven’t met the right person yet!” 

By this point in the walk, Kougami finds himself in a park, with a wide expanse of grass, bordered by some comfortable benches. People are running with their dogs, and some boys play frisbee between the dogs. He sits on a bench and continues his conversation with Akane. 

“I know, Kougami, but you also tend to run away from anything serious pretty quickly.”

Kougami sighs. “You’re right. I guess I can’t blame the guy. I was a little forward, too. Did I tell you I kissed him as he was doing the leaving thing?” 

“Yes, you mentioned that.” 

“I couldn’t help myself,” Kougami’s words speed up. “He looked so amazing and somehow I knew he was leaving for good and it just seemed like the only thing I could do to keep him from leaving, but then he left anyway and I’m just a fucking idiot -”

“Kougami?” a voice, definitely not Akane’s, breaks into his rapid monologue. 

Kougami looks up from the bench, only to have his face assaulted by licks from a large husky with big, soft fur and an enthusiastic bark. 

“Oi, oi,” Kougami says gruffly to the dog, and looks up to its owner. His eyes grow wide as saucers, and though his jaw drops, he manages to say quietly, “Gino...?” 

“Kougami? Kougami!” Akane is practically yelling into the phone. “What’s going on?” 

“I’m going to have to call you back,” Kougami doesn’t even bother saying goodbye and hangs up on her. He’s going to hear about that later. But he can’t bring himself to care. Standing in front of him, with a look of both relief and despair, stands Ginoza Nobuchika. 

“W-what are you doing here?” Kougami says, rushed, scared. 

Nobuchika sighs. “This is a dog park,” he says, using a hand to indicate to his husky. “And I have a dog. Naturally, I walk my dog in a _dog park_.” 

Kougami, still baffled and terrified, looks around quickly, trying to find an excuse not to meet Nobuchika’s eyes. “Oh... I see.” 

“Anyway, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting?” 

“I, um, I... there were some complications with the client,” Kougami manages. 

“Hmm,” Ginoza pulls at his dog’s leash, tugging him back towards himself. 

Kougami senses the onset of another bizarre and sudden movement from the flight attendant, and tries to fill the void of silence before Nobuchika can take advantage of it and leave.

“You never told me your dog’s name before,” Kougami looks up hopefully. 

The taller man is still unsure, but doesn’t move away from the bench. “His name is Dime. He’s the best.” Nobuchika tries to say this nonchalantly, but it’s clear that Dime means more to him than he would like to let on. 

Kougami stands up from the bench and meets Nobuchika’s eyes. 

“Look, Gino,” he uses the nickname, somehow still feeling confident in it, “About earlier,” he speaks calmly, expecting to be interrupted at any moment. 

Nobuchika, however, remains silent, with an indecipherable look on his face. Kougami notices briefly that the sadness he saw earlier seems to have gone dormant. Not gone altogether, perhaps, but at least not pressing at this moment. 

“I didn’t mean to be so forward. It was rude, and I’m sorry.” 

Nobuchika considers this. He takes a deep breath, and pushes Kougami lightly, as though he wants him to sit back down on the bench. 

“I guess we should talk, shouldn’t we? Go ahead, sit, I’ll sit with you.” 

Nobuchika sits next to him, and Dime sits obediently at his feet. Kougami stares at him blankly. He hasn’t quite gotten over the shock of seeing the flight attendant so unexpectedly, and is further astounded that Nobuchika didn’t just walk away. Kougami had been on the phone. There’s no way he would have noticed Nobuchika walk past if he hadn’t said something. 

Still, for all of the things Kougami has run over in his mind to say or do, he is at a loss for words. 

Nobuchika seems to understand Kougami’s confusion, and smiles in a soft and sad way. 

“Kou, I shouldn’t have walked away like that. You were a little forward, but I’m not angry or anything.” 

“It’s like you said, charming people doesn’t seem to be my speciality the last few days, does it?” 

Nobuchika laughs quietly. Everything about him is subdued. It’s as though he wants to be in the moment with Kougami, but the things inside him are pulling him away. Kougami feels like Nobuchika is adrift at sea, not sure if he wants to be brought back to shore. 

“You’re hopeless, aren’t you?” 

“Um, hopelessly charmless?” Kougami spreads his arms, gesturing dramatically, trying to go for comic relief. It works. Nobuchika laughs again. Kougami breathes in the air, inhaling the laughter, holding it in his lungs. But seconds later the laughter is gone, and the sadness covers Nobuchika’s face again. 

“Maybe. Say, Kou, you’re kind of an all-out person, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t know what you mean, Gino.” 

“I mean,” Nobuchika seems to be searching for the right words. “You’re all the way committed, or you’re nowhere at all. You’re extreme and passionate. I think that’s a good thing.” He falls silent and drops Kougami’s gaze. It sounds like there’s more to his thoughts.

“But...?” Kougami prompts him. 

“But people like you tend to leave other people behind. You’re enthusiastic, caring, devoted, but as soon as your job or,” Nobuchika drops his voice lower, “A better person,” he takes a deep breath, “Gets in the way, you pull away, never to be seen or heard from again.” 

“Gino, I -” 

Nobuchika looks up at him sharply, his eyes suddenly hard. 

“That’s why I can’t take a risk on someone like you.” 

“Someone like me? You barely know me!” Kougami feels anger flaring up inside him. How could Nobuchika decide such a thing? He doesn’t know what Kougami wants or needs. 

“I’m right, though,” Nobuchika says coldly. “Aren’t I? Tell me, Kougami, how many people have you left behind?” 

“What kind of question is that?” Kougami snaps, irritated that Nobuchika is right.

“A kind it seems you’re unwilling to answer.” 

“It’s not what you think, Gino,” Kougami wants to tell Nobuchika that he’s afraid. He’s afraid of what it means to lose the person you love. Isn’t that what happens when someone gets too invested? 

“Then what is it? I’ll have you know I’ve had enough of people leaving me behind to last for a lifetime,” Nobuchika gasps and clasps his hand over his mouth, indicating that he hadn’t meant to let that slip out. 

The anger in Kougami’s chest melts away as he suddenly understands. 

“Gino...”

“I shouldn’t have said that. Stop looking at me like you pity me,” Nobuchika’s voice is still sharp, but his eyes have softened again. He lowers his hands from his mouth.

Kougami reaches out for Nobuchika’s hand, but before he takes it looks up, silently asking permission. Kougami gets the feeling that Gino likes to be in control of how someone touches him, cares for him. Nobuchika inclines his head ever so slightly, clearly desiring contact but nervous about what it means. Kougami takes his hand gently. 

“I don’t pity you. I just want to understand. I can tell you don’t trust me.” 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you... or, I want to trust you. But it’s hard for me, okay?” Nobuchika squeezes Kougami’s hand lightly. 

“It’s hard for me, too, Gino,” Kougami says, the truth making him feel exposed. Akane is the only one he’s ever told about his fears. “I don’t like the idea of letting someone in, of getting hurt. I think about that a lot.” 

Nobuchika looks at him in surprise. “You strike me as the confident type.” 

Kougami smiles. “Oh good, I’ve still got everyone fooled,” he shakes his head. “No, deep inside me is this fear that I’m going to go crazy for someone and in the end nothing will come of it except pain. I don’t know exactly why. I’m not really afraid of someone leaving me behind, but I do know that it’s hard and scary to care for someone like that.” 

Nobuchika bursts into laughter, startling Kougami so much that he almost jumps.

“I guess we’re two peas in a pathetic pod. Maybe this was meant to be. So now that we’ve arrived at the conclusion that we’re both terrified of commitment, what do we do?” Nobuchika says with a true, genuine smile. 

Kougami is suddenly glad that he let Ginoza in, to hear about his fears, and feels hope rise up quietly, subtly inside him. Hope gives him the courage to start to say what he felt like saying before. 

“I want to know about your life,” Kougami doesn’t know exactly what to say, only that it needs to be said. “I want to hear about your coworkers, figure out why you’re so nice to that awful stepsister, cook you something, and give your dog some treats, maybe?” Kougami frowns at himself. “God, that was the lamest thing I’ve said in my life.” 

Nobuchika’s smile widens. “It definitely was lame.” He takes his free hand and grasps Kougami’s other hand. “But I think cheesy works well for you.” 

Kougami is surprised by Nobuchika’s reaching out. “You think so?” 

“I know so.” 

“Okay, Gino, what do you say we forget all of this and start over? I have the rest of the day off, so why don’t I figure out some way to make it up to you?” 

Kougami stands up from the bench, holding onto Nobuchika’s hands and pulling him up with him. The taller man obliges, but looks confused. 

“What about your meetings tonight?” 

“Oh, yeah, about that... Remember how I said there were complications with the client?” Gino nods. “I kind of scared him off and got myself suspended.” 

“What?!” 

“Just until tomorrow morning.” 

Nobuchika laughs again. “I guess you really are hopelessly charmless. Come on, Dime and I had just barely started our walk. You can walk with us, and we can decide what to do from there. I might take you up on the cooking thing tonight.” 

Kougami releases one of Nobuchika’s hands, but keeps the other intertwined with his, holding it as they begin walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this fic is going, guys. I'm not really in control of it at all.


	4. The Definition of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aw, look, the boys have made up. This chapter was a long one, and it's a little late. But it is finished nevertheless! It's so fluffy it makes me sick to my stomach. So I apologize for that. It just kind of happens.

Kougami finds it oddly easy to fall in step with Nobuchika and Dime as they walk through the dog park. Despite the large number of dogs in the park, Dime can pad along obediently without a leash, leaving Nobuchika’s hands free. Kougami silently thanks the dog for this as he fiddles affectionately with Nobuchika’s fingers.

They walk in silence around the park, and Kougami is glad for it. He can’t recall a time when he had been content to walk in silence with someone like this. Normally he fills up the air, nervous for what happens when silence appears.

With Nobuchika it is different. His demeanor, though guarded, is calm, almost tranquil. Kougami feels at ease, like he had as they drank coffee earlier that morning. Was that really just a few hours ago? It feels like days since the morning, weeks since the plane ride. 

Nobuchika is the one to break their long silence. 

“So for dinner, I guess we’ll go to my place then? And you can cook for me? Unless your hotel room has a kitchen, which I doubt.” 

“I didn’t mean... I wasn’t asking you to invite me over. I guess I forgot that I don’t have a kitchen here.” Kougami hadn’t thought about the logistics of it all, he had just sort of said the first thing that came to his head.

 Nobuchika seems saddened by this. 

“Yes, this isn’t where your home is, is it?” 

Kougami’s heart sinks. That isn’t what he meant. How does he manage to continually say stupid things that made Nobuchika sad? 

But Nobuchika brightens up quickly. “Sorry,” he says apologetically. “I’m just being sensitive. Of course you can come over.” 

Kougami looks at him tentatively. “Are you sure?” 

“Only because you’re cooking for me, though,” the playful tone in Nobuchika’s voice is something Kougami wants to treasure. He smiles.

“Right. We need to go grocery shopping first. Is there a market nearby?” 

Nobuchika nods. “There’s one a few blocks from my place. Let’s go drop Dime off and then we can go back out for the groceries.” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

They arrive at a small apartment complex, and Dime sprints to one of the doors. Nobuchika looks affectionately at his dog and shushes him. He unlocks the door and lets Dime inside. 

Kougami stands back, unsure if Nobuchika is going to invite him in or not. The taller man turns around. 

“Why don’t you come inside for a minute? Dime always gets a treat after his walk, you can give him one, you know, if you want.” 

Kougami nods hesitantly and makes his way through the doorway. 

Nobuchika’s apartment is small and simple, but welcoming. The furniture is made from mahogany, and a glass coffee table sits in the middle of the room, adorned by an assortment of succulents. The kitchen is off to the side of the entrance. 

“This is really nice,” Kougami says as he thinks about his own living space. “How do you manage to keep it this nice when you travel so much?” Kougami always excuses the mess of his apartment as a by-product of too much travel. Not to mention that the only person who ever comes over is Akane, or occasionally Kunizuka. 

It’s not like he ever has anyone to impress. His flings usually take place in hotels and the homes of others. He wondered in the back of his mind if it was some unhealthy defense mechanism. 

As he takes it all in, he tries to memorize the space. Keep these little pieces of Nobuchika stored in his brain.

“It’s not so hard, really. After days of flying all over creation, I really need a clean space of relaxation, I think. Come over here, Dime’s getting impatient.”

Kougami walks to the kitchen, where Nobuchika holds a small plastic tub of dog treats. He extends it out to Kougami. Kougami takes a treat and looks down at Dime, sitting on the floor wagging his tail. 

Kougami kneels down so that he is level with Dime. He puts forth his hand and Dime happily takes the treat. Kougami scratches the husky’s ears and smiles. 

He looks up at Nobuchika, only to blush again at the look - is that affection? - on his face. 

“Looks like Dime is pretty happy with you,” he says in a soft voice. 

Kougami laughs nervously as he stands back up. 

“I’ve always been lucky with dogs. Who takes care of him while you’re gone?” 

“Believe it or not, Mika does.” Kougami’s eyes go wide again. Nobuchika laughs. “I’m pretty sure Dime is the thing Mika likes most about me. When I have to be gone for more than an afternoon, Mika usually stays the night here. But seriously, she is more than tolerable sometimes. Plus she’s seventeen. Everyone is kind of a jerk when they’re seventeen.” 

“I see.” Kougami wasn’t sure about that. 

“Now that Dime’s happy, should we go get those groceries?” 

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

The market is only a few blocks away, and the two walk with their hands apart as they head to the store. Kougami, nervous about overwhelming Nobuchika and scaring him off again, isn’t sure how to find a balance between distance and closeness. Kougami wants desperately to wrap his arms around Nobuchika from behind, snuggle into his neck, nip at his ear, kiss him. He shivers at the thought.

“So what are you cooking for me tonight?” 

Kougami is pulled abruptly from his thoughts. He looks at Nobuchika’s expectant face, and a wave of affection rises up inside him. 

“Well, Gino, what kind of food do you like?” 

They settle on an easy Italian dish of spaghetti and meatballs. Kougami feels like he got off pretty easily, although he does like to cook and considers himself to be relatively proficient, you know, for a bachelor. Even Akane likes his dinners. 

Kougami chooses a nice bottle of wine to go with their dinner and they head for the check out line. 

As they place their items on the check out counter, Kougami can’t help but reach out for Nobuchika’s hand again. He obliges, but doesn’t look at Kougami. 

The checker rings up their total, they collect their bags and head out the door. On their way back to Nobuchika’s apartment, Kougami’s phone rings. 

“Another ominous phone call?” Nobuchika says with a smirk as he takes one of the bags from Kougami’s hand so he can answer.

Kougami checks. It’s Akane. 

“This shouldn’t be as bad as the last phone call,” he says, trying to make light of the morning’s disaster.

He answers. 

“Hi, Ak-”

“KOUGAMI SHINYA,” it is tremendous at how loud her voice can get. Kougami winces. He was wrong. This could definitely be as bad as Kunizuka’s call.

“I can expl-”

“DO NOT HANG UP ON ME LIKE THAT!” 

Kougami glances at Nobuchika, expecting a scowl, only to find him holding back what looks like a giant fit of laughter. It would have been adorable if Kougami hadn’t been so busy fielding his best friend’s anger. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, okay?” 

“Is that all you have to say for yourself?!” her voice quiets, but remains angry. “Is it?! I stood up for you today, you know that?” 

“I know, I know.”

“Do you?” 

“N-no, I guess not,” Kougami stammers.

She takes a long sigh, and then silence. 

Kougami ventures a question. “What can I do to help?”

“Ugh, nothing. I’m being unreasonable. Sorry. It’s been a mess over here.”

“I thought you were going out with Sugo and Karanomori?” 

“I was, but something came up and I’m stuck at the office, still. It’s Friday night! Do they think I’m a machine or something? I’m taking my frustration out on you, sorry,” he can hear a sheepish tone creeping into her voice. 

“Well, I deserved it,” Kougami smiles into the phone. “I’m making good use of my suspension though, you should be proud.”

“Just as I suspected,” Akane’s voice lightens, the more characteristic smile back in it. “You’re with the flight attendant, aren’t you?” 

“Maybe,” Kougami teases. “But I’m not telling.” 

“You’re so cruel. Okay. You should go. I’m sorry for yelling.” 

“I’m sorry for hanging up on you.” 

“I forgive you. This time at least. Love you, bye.” 

“Love you,” As he hangs up, Kougami feels nervous for some reason, using the ‘l’ word to someone when Nobuchika is around. 

His nerves are assuaged, however, as Nobuchika’s laughter sounds through the air. It’s a beautiful noise, but Kougami tries to play it off. 

“Hey, Gino, what’s so funny?” He attempts unsuccessfully to frown. 

Nobuchika’s laughter fades into a smile. “You got told off pretty well there, didn’t you?” 

“I guess so.” 

“Who’s the girl?” 

“She’s a business executive for the software company, but we go way back. We went to university together. She’s obviously the brainiac. She’s four years younger than I am and still climbed the corporate ladder twice as fast as anyone in the company. It’s embarrassing for all of us.”

“Hmm.” 

They arrive by the front of the door and Kougami takes the bags back so Nobuchika can unlock the door. They walk inside and Kougami places the bags down on the floor and reaches out with both hands to Nobuchika’s. 

Nobuchika surprises him by bypassing the handholding and pushing himself into Kougami’s arms for a full embrace. 

Kougami’s heart speeds up. 

“Gino?” 

“Kougami.” Nobuchika says his name with finality. Not the kind of finality he had used earlier, when they parted and he said goodbye, but like a fresh beginning. 

Kougami closes his arms around Nobuchika’s waist and buries his head in the taller man’s neck, just as he had wanted to at the market. His breath is hot against Nobuchika’s skin. He feels excited but content. He could stand here, in the doorway, all day, all night, if he could just hold Nobuchika this way. 

Eventually Nobuchika pulls back, just far enough away to look Kougami in the eye. Kougami reaches up with one hand to cup his cheek. 

“Kougami?” Nobuchika’s voice is barely louder than a whisper. 

“What is it, Gino?” Kougami can hardly breathe. He looks so perfect. Nobuchika’s eyes are a deep green, and his hair is soft as it falls over the hand Kougami holds up to his cheek. 

“I can’t figure out why I like you so much.” 

Kougami isn’t sure what that means. He isn’t sure if it’s a confession or a question, or something else entirely. What Kougami wants more than anything in that moment is to pull Ginoza’s face just a few inches closer, to push both hands through that soft hair, to kiss him gently.

But Kougami sees the uncertainty in Nobuchika’s beautiful eyes, and he doesn’t want to make another mistake. So he steels himself against his desires, and pulls back, just a little bit. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended by that,” he says, teasing. Smiling in his own charming way, as if to prove that he could be patient in his pursuits. Yes, Kougami didn’t know why, but for this man, he would be as patient as he needed to be. 

Nobuchika looks away, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. That was a rude thing to say.” 

Kougami drops his hand from Nobuchika’s face and moves it to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. 

“It’s not like I know exactly why I like you so much, either. Peas in a pod, remember?” 

Nobuchika looks up at him again again. “I suppose you’re right.” 

Kougami steps back entirely and puts his hands on his hips.

“Now, wasn’t I supposed to be making you something delicious? Charming you with my domestic prowess? Wining and dining you in the comfort of your own home?” 

This earns Kougami a snort. 

“You are a salesman, aren’t you?” 

Kougami rolls his eyes. “Let’s leave my job out of this.” 

“Whatever you say, Kou.” 

And there he went with the nickname again and there went the butterflies in Kougami’s stomach fluttering around. He distracts himself from wondering what all these intense feelings mean by pulling the groceries out and moving to the kitchen. 

Nobuchika walks to the couch and sits by Dime, who is sleeping soundly. 

“I’m going to need a little help feeling my way around your kitchen here!” 

Nobuchika calls back to him from the couch. “I thought you were wining and dining me. Figure it out for yourself.” 

Although being with Nobuchika in the tight quarters of his efficiency kitchen sounds devastatingly appealing, Kougami can’t help but feel that this is a show of trust, so he is satisfied with it. 

He uncorks the wine to let it breathe, and begins searching the various cupboards for pots, pans, and knives. Nobuchika’s kitchen is well-equipped but most things look as though they are rarely put to good use. Either that or Nobuchika is a clean freak, which seems equally likely. 

As water boils for pasta noodles, Kougami searches for wine glasses. He meets with success, and pours a glass of red wine and walks from the kitchen to the couch. 

Nobuchika is reading as he pets Dime’s head absentmindedly. Kougami tries not to notice how attractive Nobuchika is without putting any effort into it. It is infatuating. Kougami feels like he could stand and watch Nobuchika read forever. 

Not wanting to stare, Kougami sets the glass down ceremoniously on the coffee table. 

“For you, Gino.” 

Nobuchika looks surprised, but takes the glass anyway. 

“What about dinner?” 

“That’s just while you’re waiting. Should be done in a little while.” 

An hour later, Kougami and Ginoza sit on his couch. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind eating here?” 

“This is where I usually eat dinner. Dime likes it better anyway.” 

“Okay, but red sauce can be a little messy.” 

“Don’t tell me how to act in my own home, Kougami,” Nobuchika pokes him playfully. 

The bottle of wine sits half-empty on the coffee table, and Kougami generously refills both their glasses as they slurp their noodles and talk. He feels reassured, that the morning was not a complete mistake, that maybe they have something to offer each other. 

The alcohol settles into him as he finishes his food, and he starts to feel warm and full. Idly, he reminds himself not to be too forward. 

Nobuchika sets his empty plate on the coffee table and holds an almost-empty glass of wine. Only then does Kougami notice the flush in his cheeks. 

“Say, Kougami,” the dark-haired man grins widely. 

“Yes, Gino?” Kougami puts his own empty plate on the coffee table and swings his legs up on the couch, scooting closer to Nobuchika, so their knees touch.

“Why is your hair always so messy?” Nobuchika reaches up and musses Kougami’s hair even more. His hand trails down Kougami’s face before he pulls it back into himself. 

Kougami flushes and pushes his hands back through his hair. “Are you drunk? What do you know? What if I like it better this way?”

“I’m only a little drunk. And I never said I didn’t like it,” Nobuchika leans forward, his face inches from Kougami’s.

Kougami can hardly take it. His brain is fuzzy from the wine and his heart is full of feelings he’s afraid of. Nobuchika looks so damn _sexy_ , sitting on his couch, dressed-down in comfortable clothes. But it isn’t just that he looks good, the best thing that is that he is so clearly the most real version of himself. The real Ginoza Nobuchika. Right here, in front of him. 

Kougami wants this reality, this existence, this person, all to himself. That scares him. But he’s enough drinks in to push the fear away.

“Can I kiss you?” Kougami asks, trying as hard as he can to let Nobuchika set the boundaries. Trying not to fuck this up. 

An uncertainty returns to the green eyes, but only fleetingly. The uncertainty is followed by a certain acceptance and a deep longing. 

“Yes.” 

Kougami releases a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He reaches up to cup Nobuchika’s cheek, and pulls him ever so softly into a kiss.

The kiss is clumsy and gentle and almost _relaxing_ , in a way Kougami has never known. It feels like the most right thing in his world. He pushes forward the slightest bit, moving his hands from Nobuchika’s face to wrap them around his shoulders. 

Nobuchika tenses slightly at the movement, and Kougami gives him one last gentle kiss before pulling back. 

“Is that too much?” 

Nobuchika’s face is red. “It’s just... I, well, I...”

Kougami senses his discomfort and pulls Nobuchika into a firm hug. “You don’t have to tell me. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Kougami feels him sigh and relax into his shoulder. “Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me, Kou.”

“I’m full of surprises. Maybe I should clean up and head back to my hotel?” 

When they pull apart from their embrace, Nobuchika’s deep blush has disappeared, but not entirely. His eyes are downcast.

“Maybe,” he speaks very slowly and quietly. “Maybe you could stay?”

“Gino, are you serious?” Kougami is tentative.

“I mean, I can’t, I don’t, you could just... sleep here,” Nobuchika looks up shyly. “Just sleep.” 

“Just sleep sounds amazing, Gino. But only if you’re sure. I can sleep out on the couch, too.” 

“N-no, please, sleep in my room.” 

Kougami stands up. “Let’s figure out the sleeping arrangements once the dishes are done.” Nobuchika moves to stand up with him, but Kougami holds a hand out to stop him. 

“I haven’t finished my domestic services yet. Sit, Mr. Ginoza, sir. Have another glass of wine, if you like. Or perhaps some tea?” Kougami vaguely remembers moving a teapot from the stove so he could cook. 

“Tea sounds nice.” 

“Anything for you. I’ll be right back then.” 

As Kougami finishes the dishes, he boils some water, finds Nobuchika’s tea stash, and picks out a nice chamomile. Appropriate for an evening cup of tea. He makes two cups and walks back into the living room. 

They each take one of the steaming mugs in their hands and drink in silence. 

Eventually Kougami checks his watch. He needs to go to sleep soon, since he definitely can’t miss his morning meetings. Since it’s Saturday, the clients don’t want to meet until 10, which isn’t so bad. 

“I’m starting to get sleepy,” Kougami puts his mug on the coffee table and stretches. “How about you?” 

Nobuchika’s cheeks are still a little flushed from the alcohol, and he nods in agreement. 

“I can totally sleep on the couch, Gino. I don’t want you to let me stay just because you’re a little drunk and you want to make me happy.”

Nobuchika sticks out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout. “Don’t talk like you know everything. I want you to stay. Come on, bring your tea.” He stands up, wobbling slightly, and makes his way down the hallway. Kougami follows suit.

Nobuchika’s bedroom is like the rest of the apartment: simple, small, and welcoming. 

“Do you mind if I take my clothes off?” Kougami says awkwardly, not sure how to ask. He’s never been in this situation before. 

Nobuchika giggles, trying to mask his nervousness. “Of course not.” He pulls his own sweater off, pulls his jeans down, and quickly pulls some pajama pants from his dresser. Kougami gets the sense that Nobuchika is also new at this, perhaps entirely. 

Kougami leaves his undershirt on and strips off his pants to his boxers. Nobuchika has already climbed into the bed, propped up on a pillow, sipping the remainder of his tea. Kougami slips under the blankets and sits up, level with Nobuchika, watches him. He doesn’t care if he stares anymore. 

Kougami reaches up to ruffle Nobuchika’s hair. It falls through his fingers wonderfully, and they both sigh contentedly. 

“No one else has ever slept here, you know,” Nobuchika whispers. He sounds embarrassed, like he’s afraid Kougami is judging him for his inexperience. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

“I feel honored, Gino. I’m going to set my alarm and lay down, okay?” Kougami leans in and kisses him lightly on the cheek before turning to his phone. He sets his alarm for 7:30, hoping maybe he will be able to make Nobuchika breakfast before his meeting.  
He quips a message to Kunizuka, brief but apologetic, letting her know that he would be on time, professional, and not a jackass in the morning. She responds immediately. 

_“Don’t have too much fun with your boyfriend and oversleep, or I’ll skin you alive. You owe me like eight drinks.”_

She must have gone looking for him at his room again. At least she isn’t angry with him anymore. Kougami puts the phone on his own nightstand and snuggles down into the soft sheets. Nobuchika finishes his tea and lays down facing Kougami. Kougami ruffles Nobuchika’s hair once more, and though he wants to kiss him again, simply smiles. 

“I’m really happy, Gino.” 

Nobuchika smiles back, and closes his eyes. “Goodnight, Kou.”


	5. What Happens, Nothing More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a plot in between all this fluff, somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a friend coming into town this afternoon, so I busted out a chapter early. Which is good, but it means it's pretty much un-edited. If there's a lot of mistakes, forgive me. I'm going to go back and re-read it hopefully sometime this weekend, if not, after my friend leaves. If fluff is not for you, please skip this whole fic. It's shameless fluff.

Kougami wakes with a start before his alarm, afraid everything was a dream. But, looking around the room, he sees the mahogany bed, the empty tea mug on a nightstand, and he exhales a quiet sigh of relief. 

He looks down at the man beside him, sleeping soundly. Nobuchika clearly wasn’t lying when he said he’s never slept with another person in his bed. He is sprawled all over the queen-sized bed, leaving Kougami about a quarter of the bed (or maybe less). Still, Kougami can’t bring himself to be upset. He props himself up on his elbows and searches Nobuchika’s sleeping face for answers. Answers to questions he doesn’t even want to ask. 

Why is he so infatuated? Why can’t he just let him go like all the others? 

Alternatively: why is he so afraid? He thinks back to his conversation with Akane, about how he runs from serious feelings. It’s true. Even in his friendships he is selective, let alone his romantic life. 

Nobuchika snores softly, mumbling every once in a while. Kougami can’t stop himself from wondering what the quiet words on his lips are. Nobuchika looks so good. He can’t stand it and reaches out, as gently as he can brushing the long bangs to the side of his face. The flight attendant stirs and slits his eyes open. 

He groans and squirms in the blankets. “It’s Saturday,” he whines. 

Kougami is momentarily surprised that Nobuchika isn’t more flustered to have another person in his bed. But he doesn’t think much of it. “I’m gonna get up. You should stay here and sleep.”

Drowsy and clearly still lacking some inhibitions, Nobuchika peeks out and grabs the front of Kougami’s undershirt, pulls him down close. 

“Why aren’t you going to keep sleeping? Ack-” He coughs and wrinkles his nose. 

“What?!” Kougami blinks in confusion. 

“You have horrible breath in the morning.” Nobuchika pulls the covers over his head once more. 

Kougami sits, staring at the lump of blankets that is Gino’s head, stunned. Who would dare say that on a first morning waking up together? That’s not how you should go about charming someone. For some reason, though, he feels warmed by the honesty. The idea that Nobuchika isn’t, in fact, trying to charm him comforts him. 

“Gino,” he pokes at the lump. 

“Hmph,” is the response. 

“Do you have some toothpaste I can use?” 

“Hmmxtra mmmthbrushhh immm mmabinment,” an incoherent, muffled string of sounds comes from the blankets. 

“Come again?” Kougami smiles like an idiot. 

Nobuchika pulls the blankets back from his head to his chin. He pouts like a little child. 

“ _I said_ , there’s an extra toothbrush in the cabinet. You have to buy those things in two-packs, you know. What kind of sick joke is that? Ugh.” He flops back down and buries his head, this time, under the pillows. 

“You’re not a morning person, are you?” 

This earns him nothing more than a muffled noise of indigence. 

Kougami leans down and kisses Nobuchika’s head - or, the pillows under which Nobuchika’s head rests, and pulls himself out of the bed. 

He heads for the bathroom, and, sure enough, finds an unused toothbrush in the cabinet. He reflects, momentarily, on the fact that he also has an unused toothbrush in his cabinet at home. The irony isn’t lost on him. 

He brushes his teeth thoroughly, feeling mildly annoyed and quite amused that Gino pointed such a thing out. That’s what Kougami had been so entranced with the previous night though. The reality and honesty of Nobuchika’s existence. He isn’t a fake person. 

Kougami makes his living stitching masks on himself. 

He makes his way to the kitchen, in search of caffeine. The coffeepot sits on the counter, and Kougami notices that it was set the night before. He pushes the ‘on’ button and turns around to go back to the bedroom. 

Nobuchika is still rolled up in the blankets, but his eyes are open and he looks a little more alert. Kougami sits at the edge of the bed at his feet. 

“Hey.” 

“Um, hi.” With his drowsiness fading, the shyness has crept back into Nobuchika. 

Hoping to ease the situation, Kougami threads a hand through the green-eyed man’s hair. It is soft as ever. “How did you sleep?” 

“Oh, I slept well.” He pauses. “Um, how did you sleep?” 

Kougami keeps his expression soft, but feels a snicker curling into his smile. “Pretty damn well considering I only had about thirty percent of the bed.” 

Nobuchika looks at him, puzzled, for a moment, and then goes red. “Oh my god, Kou, I’m so sorry. I just - I’ve never -” 

Kougami leans over and kisses him lightly on the forehead. 

“Gino, stop it. You’re being silly.” Nobuchika’s cheeks remain flushed. Kougami puts a finger under his chin and lifts it so their eyes meet. “I don’t care. It’s cute, actually. Can I kiss you?” 

Nobuchika blinks. “I thought you just did.” 

Kougami laughs. 

“You’re right, I should have asked. Now that I’ve presumptuously kissed your forehead - for which I apologize - can I kiss your lips this time?” 

“Y-yeah.” 

“Okay, just real softly.” It seems that the more Kougami explains what he’s going to do, the more comfortable Nobuchika is. So he leans down, and very gently brushes their lips together. He longs to push into it more, to kiss him harder, but, he reminds himself, he is patient. So he pulls back and releases Gino’s chin. 

“I started the coffee.” 

Nobuchika sighs. “You need to stop.” 

“Stop?” Kougami’s heart freezes, worried that he’s made some terrible mistake again. 

But Nobuchika’s eyes aren’t sharp or cold. They are warm, soft. They smile at him.

“Stop being so good at this.” He takes a deep breath. “You’re making me look bad.” 

“You? Look bad? I don’t think that’s possible.” Kougami says without thinking. Ashamed of his own lameness, he stands back up. 

“Now, I get the impression that you need some caffeine in order to function like a normal human being at this hour, am I right?” 

“It’s Saturday,” Nobuchika flops down onto the pillows again, but without resolve. It’s obvious he’s about to get up. 

“Yes, but I have a meeting in,” Kougami checks his watch. “Two hours.” 

Nobuchika sighs. “Okay, let’s get up. I’ll make breakfast.”

“I can do that, Gino.” 

“No,” Nobuchika insists. “You made dinner last night. I can return the favor.” 

“There’s no favor to return. I was making up for being an ass, remember?” 

“I still want to make breakfast.” 

“Fine, fine. Let’s go.” Kougami extends his hand and pulls Nobuchika out of bed. They walk through the living room, where Dime sits happily on the couch, and into the kitchen. The bittersweet smell of coffee permeates the apartment. 

Nobuchika begins pulling eggs from the refrigerator, bread from the cabinet. Kougami figures he at least help by pouring the coffee. He pours two mugs and, taking one in his hand, places the other on the stove, next to the pan where Nobuchika has started cracking eggs. 

They eat toast and eggs in relative quiet, stopping only to ask a question or two. Nobuchika likes to take his mornings slowly and easily. Kougami figures that the work mornings of a flight attendant are fraught with business and hurrying. He can’t blame him. So he contents himself to sit in silence, letting Nobuchika ask the occasional question. 

He checks his watch at 9:30. 

“I really have to go, I think.” 

Nobuchika looks at him like he’s trying not to be disappointed. “That’s okay. You’re working. You’ve already wasted a night of work on me.” 

Kougami reaches for his hand. “I certainly wouldn’t call it wasted. Can I call you later?”

Nobuchika nods shyly. 

Kougami stands up from the table and gets his things. After his shoes are on he walks back to the table and bends down to eye-level with Nobuchika. 

“I’m going to kiss you again, Gino,” he says before capturing Nobuchika’s lips. This time he is noticeably more comfortable, so Kougami lingers and extra moment, teasing his bottom lip ever so slightly. 

He pulls back and smiles like an idiot, but he can’t bring himself to care how he looks. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.” 

+++

Kougami walks into the conference room at 9:45 to find Kunizuka fiddling with her phone. He greets her with a sheepish expression. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, Kougami.” 

“Look, I’m really sor-”

Kunizuka holds a hand out. 

“No. Let’s just put it behind us,” unexpectedly, she pulls him into a hug. “I know you’re having a hard time, the way you’re falling for this guy.” 

“Did Akane call you?” 

As they pull apart, she smiles. “Maybe. Look, you were a jackass yesterday, but we all have our moments. I’ll pretend it didn’t happen if you do your damned job and get all these guys on board. Deal?” 

Kougami grins. “Deal.” 

The meetings pass uneventfully. The conference room fills with men and women from a variety of companies and professions. Breakfast is served, and Kougami picks at his food, eating little but drinking far too much coffee. 

He makes his way around the tables, each in turn treading the line between charming and professional. It’s his real selling point. 

Around noon, the last of the clients have trickled out of the conference room, and Kunizuka holds a clipboard. She writes furiously, and Kougami comes to look over her shoulder. 

“Well?” 

She smiles at him. “We did it. All but one signed on, and the one who didn’t agreed to do a test run before making a firm decision.” 

“Yes!” Kougami is happy to have made up for his blunder the previous day. He knows that he’s good at his job, and is glad the board will see that he isn’t one to get hung up on mistakes. 

“How many more meetings do we have?” 

“We have a meeting with two joint organizations at three,” Kunizuka checks her watch. “We should go out for happy hour after that. The hotel restaurant’s happy hour starts at 4:30. You owe me, remember?” 

“Oh, I remember.” 

“Maybe you should ask your boy if he wants to come along.” 

“Really?” 

“Sure, it’s just me. That won’t be too intimidating for him, will it?” 

“Well, considering your phone call yesterday morning, where you insinuated something indecent, he might be a little afraid.”

His partner cocks an eyebrow. “Oh come on. Even if you weren’t fucking him then, you must have gotten laid last night?” 

Kougami goes red, and both of her eyebrows raise. 

“Player Kougami Shinya has finally found someone who’s something other than a meaningless fuck?” 

“What is it with you guys?” He growls defensively. “You’ve been talking with Akane too much. It’s like you never take anything I do seriously!” Kougami isn’t hurt, exactly, but he does with Kunizuka would lay off. 

“You don’t take anything you do seriously, Kou. Well, _anyone_ you do.” Kunizuka’s expression is playful but uncharacteristically soft. “This guy is different, isn’t he?” 

Kougami sighs. “I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s kind of...” 

“Scary?” she finishes for him. 

He nods, unwilling to say it out loud. 

“And we’re leaving on Monday,” Kougami’s voice is sadder than he wants it to be. “I just wish I had more time to get to know him. I can’t commit to someone across the country after three days, can I?” 

Kunizuka reaches up to pat his head and squeeze his shoulder. 

“Love is a strange thing, Kougami. There is no can or can’t. It’s just what happens and doesn’t happen. That’s all." 

“Now,” she straightens. “You did a good job cleaning up after not sleeping in your room, but you need to shave and probably shower. Text your boy - what’s his name?” 

“Nobuchika. Gino, he goes by Gino, at least, I think he does. That’s what he told me to call him.” 

“Text Gino and ask if he can make happy hour. Then go shower and read one of your dumb books for a while and I’ll see you back here at three, okay?” 

He smiles at her rough way of comforting him. “Okay.” 

They walk out of the conference room together and head for their rooms, which are across the hall from each other. 

As they open their doors, he stops. “Hey, Yayoi?” 

“Yeah, Kougami?”

“How did you know? I mean, with Shion.” 

She looks over her shoulder at him and smiles. “You know, some days I still don’t know. It just happens. It’s love. It’s weird. And pretty fucking cool. Don’t tell her I said that.” She closes the door behind her and latches it. Kougami goes into his room. 

He showers, shaves, and lays on his bed. He pulls out his book - East of Eden - and tries to read. Steinbeck turns out to be too dense for the distracted Kougami. He puts the book aside and pulls up his phone.

_“Hey Gino, my partner and I are going out for drinks after our last meeting. Probably around 4:30. You should come, if you want.”_

He calls Akane, because he doesn’t know what else to do with all his feelings, and they talk for a while. She is astoundingly good at reading him and talking through things with him. 

“I mean, I’ve never been in love before either, Kou.” 

“What about Kagari?” 

“I’m not in love with him yet.” 

“What do you mean ‘yet’?” 

“I mean, I’m still figuring it out. We decided to move slow. We’re dating exclusively, but casually.” 

Kougami frowns. “And Kunizuka and Shion moved in together in their first two weeks. There’s no pattern with any of you! How am I supposed to figure this out?” 

He hears Akane sigh from the other side of the phone line. “Everyone’s different. You know that. Speaking of Kagari, he and I are going to a movie in a little while, so I need to go. It sounds like you had a good night, though! You’re doing a great job not pushing him. Believe it or not, I think it’s good for you to be going slow, too.” 

“How is this slow? I have so many feelings!” 

She laughs. “I mean slow physically. You’ve got to figure it out for yourself. Call me tomorrow. Love you.” 

“Love you too, bye.” 

Nobuchika has texted him back while he was talking to Akane. 

_“Happy hour sounds good. Where?”_

_“Our hotel. There’s a bar on the ground floor.”_

_“I know where that is. I’ll see you then.”_

The afternoon meeting goes just as well as the morning ones. Both companies agree to a joint membership, Kougami doesn’t act too aggressively, it all gets wrapped up within the hour. That was the last of their meetings, so they have all of Sunday to themselves before heading out at an ungodly hour on Monday morning. 

“We made it! This is one of the most successful trips yet. Okay, I’m going to go put something other than this damned suit on,” Kunizuka heads for the elevator. “Come on, you need to change, too. Take off the tie.” 

“But I look nice.” 

“Yeah, too nice.” 

Kougami sighs. “Why do you know more about dating than me?” 

“I don’t. I know more about you than you do though. Particularly how you look. You look good in a suit but better without the tie and the slacks. Lesbians have a sense of style too, you know.” 

“Okay, okay.” 

+++

Kunizuka is two drinks in before Nobuchika shows up. Kougami doesn’t want to be sloppy drunk too early in the evening and do something stupid again. He tries to glance at the door furtively as he sips a glass of water, but Kunizuka taps his arm. 

“Stop looking at the door like a shooter’s about to come through.” 

Kougami sets his head on the table. “I’m hopeless.” He leaves his head there for a few minutes, contemplating just how head over heels he is for this guy, until suddenly:

“Kou?”

Kougami’s head shoots up, and Nobuchika stands in front of him, smiling. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Kunizuka snorts and Kougami glares at her before pulling Nobuchika into the booth where they sit. 

“I’m fine. My partner, here, on the other hand, is drunk and should not be listened to at any cost.” He indicates to her. “Kunizuka, this is Nobuchika, you remember our flight attendant from the other day?” 

“He’s so handsome, how could I forget?” She winks. “Can I call you Gino?” She asks as she extends her hand. 

“Oh, sure,” Nobuchika smiles tentatively. 

Kougami calls for the server and Nobuchika orders a whiskey. Kougami asks for the same. 

“So, how were the meetings?” Nobuchika looks between both Kougami and Kunizuka. 

“Much better than yesterday,” Kunizuka pokes Kougami. “This guy didn’t scare anyone off this time.” 

Nobuchika laughs, and Kougami’s heart flutters again. He can’t help himself. 

The conversation moves seamlessly, partially due to Kunizuka’s effortless way of talking. Two glasses of whiskey later, Kougami’s eyes are fixated on Nobuchika. Occasionally he receives a light kick under the table from his partner, reminding him not to stare too much. Each time, Kougami lets out a deep breath. 

At some point, he can’t take it anymore and grabs one of Nobuchika’s hands, interlacing their fingers. 

Nobuchika’s shoulders tense, but relax slowly. 

Kougami notices that Kunizuka is smiling, much softer and less playful than normal. He feels reassured, through her expressions, that something real is going on. That what’s happening isn’t completely unnatural. 

She moves to stand up. “Well, Kougami, happy hour is over, and I think you’ve bought me enough drinks to keep me satisfied for now. I’ll leave you two here to yourselves. Get something to eat or you’ll both wake up with headaches.” 

She pats Kougami’s head. He glares, hoping to appear annoyed at her treating him like a child. She rolls her eyes and turns to Nobuchika. “Gino, it was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you again.” 

He nods, a genuine smile playing on his lips. “Nice to meet you, too.” 

“Well, goodnight, you little lovebirds.” 

She turns away, leaving them both to their furiously blushing faces.


	6. Certainty Like Ocean Tides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See? A plot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has turned out way longer than I planned. I am not sure if that's a good thing. Thanks for sticking with me, guys. I am so broken by canon that I just need to write things like this. It's my way of staying in denial.

Eventually Kougami and Ginoza order some food and continue their conversations. Their talk moves along easily and Kougami allows himself a few moments of entrancement. If Nobuchika notices the lovestruck look, he doesn’t mention it, which Kougami is glad for. They finish their food and a few more drinks before asking for their check. Kougami pays after insisting to Nobuchika that the company is covering the bulk of the expenses, and all he is really paying for is their drinks. 

Kougami tugs him up from the booth clumsily. “Come on, we can go up to my room.” 

“I th-think I’d rather not,” Nobuchika sways on his feet as he protests. He hiccups. 

Kougami tries not to let the disappointment show. Of course Nobuchika wouldn’t feel like shacking up in a hotel room on the second night. He should know better than that. Especially given his sensitivity to touch, Kougami doesn’t know where they stand - where Nobuchika stands. He has heard of people completely uninterested in sex, but he has never met someone like that before. 

But Nobuchika is drunk. Kougami can’t just release him to the streets to find his own way home. He ignores the obvious buzzing in his own head, telling himself that he is fine, he is the sober one, he needs to take care of his date. 

“You’re right, I’m being too forward again, but at least, I wanna, you should let me,” Kougami hiccups as well. “Take you home,” he receives a cocked eyebrow from Nobuchika, “I mean walk you home!” Nobuchika giggles. 

They make their way out of the restaurant. 

“I guess, yeah, that’s okay,” Nobuchika says sloppily. “Is, um, is this how dating works?” 

The question is endearing, and Kougami can’t help but take Nobuchika’s face in his hands and draw his lips towards him. Nobuchika leans in eagerly, much more eagerly than before. There is no hesitation in this kiss. It is the most lingering one they’ve had so far, and Kougami drinks in every moments of it. 

They pull apart and Nobuchika’s face is flushed. Kougami is sure his doesn’t look much different. 

“I don’t care about dating, I just care about you,” the words slip out, honest and drunk and frightening. 

Nobuchika flinches and pulls his face back. “Don’t say things like that.” He hiccups again and a small smile returns. “You can walk me home though, I’d like that.” 

Kougami doesn’t say anything, but takes Nobuchika’s hand and begins to walk. 

“Kougami?” 

“Yeah?” 

“My apartment is the other way.” 

“Oh! Right, I knew that,” flustered, Kougami doesn’t look at Nobuchika as they turn around. Night has fallen and the air is crisp, not too cold, but cold enough for Kougami to release Nobuchika’s hand and throw an arm around his shoulder. 

“Is this okay?” He asks as he pulls their cheeks close together. He thinks vaguely about how he should have asked first, but the space between them is so electric that he can’t be patient anymore. 

Instead of answering, Nobuchika turns his head, and, for the first time, initiates some affection by kissing Kougami on the cheek. 

“You’re warm,” he answers simply. 

Though it is dark and he can’t see it, Kougami can feel Nobuchika’s cheeks upturned in a smile, and it’s enough to make him dizzy. He nuzzles into his neck. 

“How much further?” Kougami whines. “I wanna sit an’ kiss you.” He chastises himself again, but doesn’t take it back. Nobuchika’s smile doesn’t fade, and Kougami takes this as encouragement. 

“We’re just a block away.” 

“Oh thank god.” 

As they ease up to the door of the apartment, Nobuchika wiggles out from Kougami’s arm. He immediately misses the warmth of the man next to him. 

Nobuchika unlocks the door after a few drunken attempts, and they both stumble in. Dime welcomes them with a wagging tail, and Nobuchika pats him clumsily, cooing and doting. Kougami joins him, brushing their hands together over Dime’s soft fur. As if understanding the situation, Dime gives them an affectionate lick, and turns around to pad away. Kougami and Nobuchika are left with their hands together, and they stand up, both looking equally embarrassed. 

Kougami wants to be more in control of himself, but in spite of all his attempts, he reaches forward and threads both hands through Nobuchika’s soft hair and pulls their bodies together. Nobuchika doesn’t pause, he doesn’t miss a beat, he returns every kiss Kougami gives enthusiastically. Kougami feels like he’s seeing stars, like this is all he needs, he could just kiss Nobuchika forever, as long as he is kissed right back.

Kougami, breathing heavily, pulls back just enough to whisper, “Couch?” 

Nobuchika nods before pulling Kougami from the entry to the living room roughly. They tumble onto the couch, a mess of limbs and kisses and tangled hair. It is not practiced, it is not smooth, and Kougami finds himself sitting up on the couch, Nobuchika’s hands digging into his shirt, pulling him close. This time when Kougami wraps his arms around Nobuchika’s shoulders, he doesn’t tense or pull back, but relaxes into him, sinks into the embrace. 

The kisses deepen but at the same time slow down, more careful. Nobuchika doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable, but he also isn’t as eager. Kougami himself doesn’t know what he wants or what Nobuchika wants, and with the haze of alcohol dissipating he knows he should pull back, to make sure it’s okay.

So he does pull himself away, lightly kisses Nobuchika’s nose, and opens his eyes to meet the his. He takes a deep breath, noticing the quick rise and fall of Nobuchika’s chest. 

“Gino?” 

He doesn’t respond, his eyes wide, overcome with shock. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Kougami takes his hand from Nobuchika’s hair and brings it to cup his chin. “You should say something.” 

“I’m really drunk,” Nobuchika manages. After a moment he adds, “And I really, really like you.” He squeezes his eyes tightly shut. 

Kougami feels something in his chest light up. He knows that isn’t an easy thing for Gino to say. 

“Look at me.”

Nobuchika shakes his head. 

“Nobuchika, Gino, I meant it when I said I cared about you. I really did.” 

“Don’t say that,” Nobuchika says softly. 

“Why not? It’s true. I mean it.” 

Nobuchika opens his eyes to meet Kougami’s, shining with something Kougami hopes desperately aren’t tears. 

“People who care leave, they always leave,” Nobuchika’s words are rushed, sloppy, sad. “You’re leaving, you leave, you will, you have to, it’s a fact.” A single tear spills out. “I c-can’t give you what you need anyway.” 

Kougami is taken aback. “Like what?” 

“Like, well, this, oh fuck, this is,” Nobuchika shuts his eyes again. “This is as much as I can handle, I mean, kissing, it’s nice I like it I want more but it’s all I can do and why would you want someone who can only kiss-”

Kougami cuts him off by pushing his lips back against Nobuchika’s. Tenses returning, Nobuchika seems distant, afraid. 

Kougami pulls back. “Who says I need more than this? This is wonderful.” He brings their foreheads together to touch. Another tear falls from Nobuchika, lands on Kougami’s hand as it rests on Nobuchika’s thigh. 

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Nobuchika says with a shudder. 

“I’m not lying.” 

“Everyone leaves. Everyone needs more than I can give them.” 

“I’m not everyone.” 

“You fly out on Monday. You told me.” 

The truth of it stings. Kougami wants to have something to defend himself with, but what can he say? 

“What if I said I’d come back?” 

“People don’t come back. Not for me.” 

Unsure of what else to do, Kougami pulls Nobuchika all the way up on the couch and into him, wrapping his arms all around the skinny body, running his hands through Nobuchika’s hair. He doesn’t know who has left him, or why. He isn’t sure he wants to know. So he simply sits, offering the small comfort that he can.

“I don’t want to like you,” Nobuchika says quietly. 

“That’s okay,” Kougami answers.

“Doesn’t that make you sad?” 

“Of course it does. But you do like me. And that’s enough.” 

A silence fills the living room. Only the soft sound of Kougami’s hands in Nobuchika’s hair and their uneven breathing permeate the darkness. Eventually Nobuchika’s breathing softens, and Kougami isn’t sure if he’s fallen asleep. Kougami shifts so that Nobuchika lays in his lap, both of their legs extended on the couch. It’s not as comfortable as the bed, but it’s different, and it’s calm. 

Just as Kougami closes his eyes, Nobuchika speaks again. 

“Hey, Kou?” 

“Yeah, Gino?” 

“Could I come visit you?” 

A strange heartache enters Kougami’s chest. The question is vulnerable, wonderful, and somehow so fitting for Ginoza Nobuchika. 

“My apartment is a lot messier than yours, so only if you can handle that.” 

The smallest laugh in the world escapes Nobuchika’s lips. “You won’t even clean it for a house guest?” 

Kougami squeezes him tightly. “I’m only being honest. Do you mean it?” 

“I don’t know.” Nobuchika’s voice is faint, uncertain. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

Kougami kisses his head. “Me too. We have all day tomorrow. Maybe on your next sequence of days off you can come visit me.” 

“Maybe. Let’s not talk about it anymore. Can we go to my room?” 

“Whatever you want, Gino.” 

Nobuchika gets out of Kougami’s lap and stands. He looks down at Kougami laying on the couch with an expression of pity and regret. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” 

“For this.” 

Kougami blinks. “Well, I’m not. I’m so happy I couldn’t stop pushing that goddamned button on that goddamn plane because here we are,” Kougami stands to join Nobuchika. “Even after that you wanted to see me, so I think I’m the lucky one here.” 

The smallest smile tugs as the corners of Nobuchika’s mouth. “You were quite the pesky passenger.” 

Kougami takes both of Nobuchika’s hands and pulls him towards the bedroom. When they get to it, Kougami turns to him and lightly pulls at the hem of Nobuchika’s shirt. 

“I just want to take it off, is that okay?” 

“Um,” Nobuchika looks anxious, but nods anyway. Kougami softly lifts the shirt over Nobuchika’s head and tosses it towards a hamper he noticed last time they were in the bedroom. 

Kougami kisses him lightly. “I just wanted to do that.” He walks to the bedside and takes his own shirt off, hoping that Nobuchika doesn’t feel like he’s being pushed. If all he wants is cuddling and kissing, Kougami would do that happily for the rest of his life. He can’t believe the phrase ‘the rest of his life’ passed through his head. It’s still scary, but in a way, it’s funny, Kougami thinks to himself. He’s spent so much time fooling around that he had forgotten what real affection feels like, or maybe he’s never felt it before. The sureness of it all overwhelms him. A certainty has settled into him, and he doesn’t think he could push it away if he wanted to. And, he thinks with relief, he doesn’t want to.

Nobuchika crawls into the other side of the bed with his pajama pants on. He lays on his side facing Kougami, and Kougami scoots his pillow so their eyes are level. The bedroom has a small window, through which the moon casts a small glow on the bed. 

“Now can we talk?” Nobuchika says quietly. The slurs have faded from his voice, and he seems more in control of his thoughts. 

Kougami smiles at him. “We can talk all night if you want.”

“I like you.” 

“I like you too, Gino.” 

“But you live far away.” 

“And you’re a flight attendant who gets to travel all the time, and who probably flies for free on your time off, right?” 

Nobuchika nods against the pillows. “Yeah. But you travel for your job all the time, and I can’t keep up with that. It’s hard enough keeping up with my own schedule.” 

Kougami sighs. He has a point. “I think if I switched departments I could have a less hectic schedule.” 

Nobuchika’s eyes widen. “You can’t do something like that for me. I’m not worth that.” 

“Sorry, but I don’t think you get to decide what you’re worth. I’m pretty sure that’s my job.” Kougami wishes Nobuchika wouldn’t think so lowly of himself. It hurts him to see it. “I could still be a representative, I would just manage the main office. They’ve offered me the position before.” 

“I thought you liked your job because you get to travel.” 

“I like to travel because I don’t have anything to come back to. If I had something - someone - to settle down for, I would give it all up in a heartbeat.” Kougami can’t believe the commitment his words imply. For the first time, he isn’t afraid of it anymore. He moves his hand up into Nobuchika’s hair again, and Nobuchika leans into it easily.

“I was right, you know,” Nobuchika says. 

“About what?” 

“You really are an all-or-nothing person.” 

“I guess so.” 

“What if you meet someone better?” 

“There isn’t someone better, Gino.” 

“How could you know after two days?” 

Kougami tries to keep the conversation light, but serious. “Three days, actually, if you count our initial meeting on the plane.” He smiles. “Someone told me recently that love is just what happens. This is happening. I want it to keep happening.” 

The beautiful green eyes are afraid, lips quivering between a smile and a frown. “You said love.” 

Kougami didn’t even notice. That’s how natural it feels.

“Yeah. I did.”

“I thought you were afraid of relationships.” 

“I’m not afraid with you.” 

Nobuchika remains silent, so Kougami speaks again. “Are you afraid of me, Gino?” 

Nobuchika nods, then says, “But I don’t want to be.” 

Kougami moves forward and reaches around to pull Nobuchika into his arms. He hugs him tightly, as if the embrace will squeeze the fear out of the taller man. He knows that it won’t, but hopes that it will at least be a silent confirmation to Nobuchika that he isn’t lying. 

“I’m off for four days after my next seven day sequence,” Nobuchika’s voice is muffled against Kougami’s chest, but the words are clear enough. Kougami breathes a deep, relieved sigh. Maybe Nobuchika believes him after all.  
  

“I promise to clean my apartment.” 

Nobuchika laughs. “Um, strange question, but could I bring Dime?” 

“Does Dime fly?” Kougami didn’t think dogs were often allowed on planes. 

“He can. It’s not his favorite thing, but he’s surprisingly calm about it.” 

“Of course you can bring Dime,” Kougami is elated about the way they talk like they’re planning a real trip. Something that is actually going to happen.  


 “Can I think about it?” 

Kougami wishes he didn’t have to. That he would just say yes. But Nobuchika is different than Kougami. He doesn’t make rash decisions. It’s probably for the best. 

“I will wait for you as long as you need, Gino.”

A long pause follows. Eventually, Nobuchika breaks it. “I’m ready to go to sleep. I’m tired.”

“Let’s go to sleep, then.” Kougami releases Nobuchika, who turns over on his side, facing away. 

“I’ll, um, try to take up less of the bed this time.” 

Kougami wraps his arms around his waist from behind, smiling as he nuzzles his face in Nobuchika’s neck. “Sleep the way you always do. I like it.” 

“You like being pushed out of the bed?” 

“Only by you.” 

Nobuchika snorts. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t try.” Minutes later he is snoring softly. 

Kougami lays awake on his back for quite a while, running his mind over the past few hours, reliving them, each time expecting to feel at least a twinge of nervousness. Instead, he grows more and more confident.

As sleep finally begins to come over him, he smirks at the way he is finally, _finally_ going to prove Akane wrong. He was right all along. He really just hadn’t met the right person yet. 

Now that he’s found his person, he never wants to turn back. There will be no more running away. Only running forward.


	7. Compromise Is Spelled With Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kougami comes home, sees friends, receives threats, you know, an ordinary day in his life.

Kougami wakes to a buzzing on the bedside table from his phone. He groans as he rolls over, reaching for the phone to find Kunizuka texting him. 

_“Hey, Romeo. Sunday morning mimosas are on special and I’m charging them to your room.”_

_“Whatever you want.”_

_“They want your confirmation so that they don’t think I’m randomly charging you for things.”_

_“Yeah, well, you are.”_

_“As per an agreement which you seem to be very happy to have made.”_

_“Fine, fine. I’ll call them. Give me a second.”_

Kougami slips out from under the covers as quietly as possible. Nobuchika fidgets, but doesn’t stir. He quietly moves to the living room and dials the hotel number. 

“Hello, this is Kougami Shinya in room 291. Yes, I’m calling to confirm that Kunizuka Yayoi in room 293 can charge her expenses to my room. Thank you.” 

_“You should be all set.”_

_“Thanks. You’re the best. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have some morning celebratory fun.”_

_“Knock yourself out.”_

Kougami sighs as he leans back against the comfortable cushions of the couch. Dime moves from the floor and pads over to him, looking expectant. Kougami smiles at him and scratches his ears. 

“It’s annoying how much Dime likes you,” a voice drifts towards Kougami, and he looks up to see Nobuchika grinning sleepily at him, wrapped in a robe, hair ruffled and messy. He looks gorgeous. 

“Gino? What are you doing up?” 

Nobuchika walks over to the couch and plops down close to Kougami. 

“You’re warm,” Nobuchika wiggles under Kougami’s arm. “I got cold without you.” 

Kougami smiles and lifts his chin to kiss him. “We can go back to bed and snuggle until you’re warm again if you want.” 

Nobuchika returns the kiss, then yawns loudly. “Or you could make me some coffee?” 

“Or I can make you some coffee.” 

Nobuchika nods. “That sounds nice. Come on, then.” He tugs Kougami up from the couch and they walk to the kitchen with their hands interlaced. Kougami releases Nobuchika’s hands to get to the coffeepot, finding it empty. He remembers seeing coffee when he searched for tea a few nights ago, and reaches for the cabinet. 

As he fumbles with the lid of the grounds and the bag of filters, Kougami looks back at Nobuchika, leaning on the counter watching him with soft eyes. Kougami blushes. 

“What?” 

With a laugh, Nobuchika says, “It’s nothing. You’re just really cute when you’re concentrating.” 

Kougami rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Gino.” He goes back to his work with the coffeepot. 

“Hey, Kou?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I think I’ll come visit you.” 

Kougami breathes in sharply but doesn’t speak, pours water into the coffeepot, and switches it on. He turns all the way around to Nobuchika, grinning widely. He quickly fills the small distance between them and wraps his arms around Nobuchika’s waist, squeezing him tightly. Head resting on Nobuchika’s shoulder, Kougami laughs. He laughs long and happily. 

“Hey, what’s so funny, Kougami?” 

“I don’t even know, Gino. I just feel like laughing.” He feels stupid, lame, but he can’t help it. 

They spend the rest of the morning lazily, making breakfast together and eating slowly. After breakfast they sip coffee on the couch, until Kougami sets his mug aside and takes Nobuchika’s mug from him. 

“I’m going to kiss you again, okay?” 

The kisses are long and slow. Kougami works to understand Nobuchika’s limit, trying to go at Nobuchika’s pace. He threads his hands through Nobuchika’s hair, his new favorite pastime. Kougami finds himself leaning over Nobuchika on the couch, straddling him, trying not to let on to his arousal. He’s surprised by how unimportant his own desires have become. He is glad for it. Opening his eyes to gauge the situation, he meets green eyes, curious, a little anxious, but not fearful. 

With some effort, he pulls his face back. 

“How’s this?” 

Nobuchika is quiet for a minute. “This is as far as I can go, I think.” He looks away. “I’m sorry.” 

Leaning back against the couch, Kougami pulls Nobuchika up to a sitting position with him. “Gino.” Nobuchika continues to look away. “Hey, Gino.” 

Nobuchika turns his eyes back. “What?” He’s defensive. 

Sweeping his hand across Nobuchika’s face to brush his bangs out of his eyes, Kougami says very softly, “I already told you it’s okay, didn’t I?”

“But you obviously need more than what I can give you.” 

“That isn’t true,” Kougami keeps his voice soft, but a firmness creeps into it. “I don’t need anything else. I promise.” 

Nobuchika relaxes a bit, and Kougami goes in for a very light, chaste kiss. He pulls back and smiles. 

“What else should we do today?” 

The day passes by smoothly but far too quickly. They spend some time at Kougami’s hotel so he can change, they take Dime for a walk, Kougami makes another simple dinner, this time they skip the alcohol, and before Kougami knows it, he needs to head back to the hotel. He finds himself in the entryway of the apartment, shrugging his coat on, reluctant, slow. Once his coat is on, he reaches out for both of Nobuchika’s hands. 

“I guess I should go. My flight leaves early in the morning.” 

“So does mine, actually.” Nobuchika’s shoulders drop slightly. 

“You don’t happen to be working on my flight, do you?” 

“Unfortunately no. Headed to a bunch of different places for the next seven days.” 

Kougami shifts on his feet. 

“This isn’t goodbye.” 

“I hope you’re right.” 

Kougami tries not to be frustrated with Nobuchika’s distrust. The distrust has its reasons, and Kougami needs to respect that, give Nobuchika time, do everything he can to prove himself, that he isn’t just a passing shadow. He’s not leaving anyone behind. Nobuchika expects an empty promise, and Kougami already knows better than to be one. 

“I am right. You’re coming to visit me, remember? You’re bringing Dime, too.”

Nobuchika smiles nervously. “Yeah. I remember.” 

“Good.” Kougami tries to grin despite the sadness blooming in his chest. 

“Why does this hurt so much?” 

Kougami doesn’t have an answer, so he doesn’t speak, only looks up to meet Nobuchika’s gaze helplessly. 

“Is it because I love you?” The question is so quiet that Kougami thinks he heard wrong, that his imagination is playing tricks on him. But Nobuchika’s fidgeting with his fingers is enough to confirm that he heard correctly. 

“Gino?” 

“There, I said it. I love you. I don’t know how that’s possible. But I do. So is that why this hurts so much?”

Kougami pulls him into a tight embrace, burying his nose in Nobuchika’s warm neck one last time.

“I don’t know. I know it’s not goodbye. I know that I love you. Let me show you that I can make this work. We can do it, together.”

Nobuchika sighs as his arms wrap firmly around Kougami’s shoulders. “I can’t believe that I love you.” 

“Try not to talk yourself out of it, okay?” 

Nobuchika snorts, and Kougami could swear there’s real happiness in it. When Nobuchika pulls back, he kisses Kougami on the forehead. It is the most initiation he has shown so far, and it throws Kougami off. 

“I have to take advantage of my height when I can,” Nobuchika says with a smile, obviously responding to Kougami’s large, round, confused eyes. “And I’ll try not to. You should go. Call me tomorrow, you know, after you land. I’ll still be on my shift, but I can listen to messages, at least.” 

Kougami pulls him into one last lingering kiss before putting his hand on the doorknob. 

“Okay. I will. I promise.” 

He steps out into the night, wishing for the warmth of Nobuchika beside him as he walks to his hotel room, to his large, soft, painfully empty hotel bed. 

+++

Kougami and Kunizuka head down the elevator with their luggage in relative quiet. 4:30am is far too early in the morning for either of them to think clearly. The empty bed hadn’t suited Kougami, and he hadn’t slept well. They check out and the hotel shuttle takes them to the airport. 

The morning hours wear on, and by the time they begin boarding they are both a little more conscious. 

“Kougami.” 

Despite being more awake, he barely registers Kunizuka’s voice. 

“Hey, listen to me,” she pinches his shoulder. 

“Ouch, okay, sorry. I’m listening.”

“Serious question. Are you okay? I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Sure you have. I’ve been tired on plenty of morning flights before. I’ll be more okay when I’ve had some coffee.” He doesn’t look her in the eye. 

“That’s not what I mean,” she grabs his chin and turns his face towards her, leaving no room for evasion. “We’re friends. I’m worried about you. Stop pretending like you’re okay when you’re not.” 

Kougami allows himself a sad frown. “I just... don’t want to leave him yet.” 

Kunizuka’s eyes soften. “I know. I’m sorry. When is he coming to visit?” 

“I didn’t tell you he was coming,” Kougami says in confusion. 

“What? You expect me to believe that he won’t come visit you?” Kunizuka cocks an eyebrow and half-smiles. “You really are an idiot, aren’t you?” Kougami shrugs. “You guys are gross, the way you’re into each other.” 

“Really?” It’s a stupid thing to be hopeful about, but her words encourage him.

“Ugh. The worst. It’s so gross. Shion and I were never like that.” 

Kougami rolls his eyes, pretending to be annoyed but grateful for a chance to banter. “Oh, yeah right. The first two days you guys spent glued together was a disaster for the office. Talk about awkward.” 

Kunizuka chuckles, apparently happy to have accomplished the goal of cheering Kougami up.

+++

Kougami stands at baggage claim while Kunizuka goes off in search of more coffee. He closes his eyes and sighs, already missing Nobuchika. He lets his mind wander back to the simple mahogany furniture and succulent arrangements, taking care not to let the details slip.

“Kougami! Koooooougami Shinyaaaaa!”

Out of nowhere, a small, enthusiastic body throws itself against Kougami. He is seized around the waist from behind and, after yelping in surprise, looks down with a smile at a mess of short brown hair wrapped in a business suit. 

“Akane?” His best friend smiles broadly, clearly excited to see him home. 

“I came to pick you and Yayoi up!” 

“Don’t you have work?” 

“Picking my employees up from the airport is work.” 

“You sure have it easy, getting to call all the shots. I wish my job was that easy.” He winks. 

She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout. “That’s a pretty presumptuous thing for a representative to say to a board member!” 

“The board member with the softest spot for Kougami Shinya though, right?” He elbows her playfully. 

“I guess so. Where’s Yayoi?” 

“Coffee. Hey, I know you just got here, but I need to, um, make a phone call, if you don’t mind.” 

“Oooooh, are you calling the flight attendant? You have so much to tell me!” 

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute,” Kougami’s face flushes. He takes a sideways glance at Akane, clearly excited to eavesdrop, and pulls out his phone and dials Nobuchika’s number. 

“I don’t suppose there’s any use asking you to leave?” 

“Nope.” 

“You’re such a busybody,” he talks with her as the phone rings.

“Just with yo-” Kougami holds a hand up to silence her as the voicemail message begins to play. 

_“You’ve reached the voicemail of Ginoza Nobuchika. I’m most likely 10,000ft in the air and am therefore unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. If this is Kou, don’t make it too long, please.”_

Kougami’s heart skips a beat at the end of the message. Nobuchika had changed his message just for Kougami? He’s so flustered that he almost forgets to talk after the message ends. 

“Hey, Gino, it’s Kougami. Kunizuka and I landed about fifteen minutes ago and I’m just waiting at baggage claim. You know, our flight attendants this time around were so boring and disastrously unattractive. Anyway, call me after your shift if you can. I, um, I love you. Bye.” 

He shoves his phone into his pocket. The baggage has started to rotate on the conveyer belt so he focuses his eyes on the luggage and deliberately avoids Akane’s eyes.

“So, how’s work?” 

“Don’t ‘how’s work’ me!” She practically screams. He looks from the luggage to her and winces. 

“Yikes, sorry?” 

“You just said ‘love’ to a boy and you want me to tell you about work?” 

“It’s amazing how professional you are most of the time. If anyone saw you with me there’s no way they’d let you run a software company.” 

“You’re just difficult, that’s why I have to be this way with you.” 

Kunizuka saunters back up, holding a tray with three coffees on it. 

“Hey,” she says to Akane. “I figured you’d be here to pick us up.” She hands Akane a coffee. Kougami reaches for the tray, but she keeps it from him. “You can have some coffee after you get our luggage, Romeo.” 

“Jesus Christ, are you ever going to stop calling me that?” 

Akane giggles. 

“Nope.” 

With a sigh, Kougami turns back to the baggage claim. He finds both their suitcases and pulls them off the conveyer belt. Coffee in hand, luggage in tow, the three of them head to the parking lot. 

By the time they arrive at the car, Kougami has felt his phone buzz. He pulls it out hopefully, expecting Nobuchika, only to find a message from an unfamiliar number. 

_“Hey, booty call, I don’t know what you said or what you did, but I want you to know that if you so much as dent my big brother’s heart, I will rip you to fucking shreds. That’s a promise. -Mika S.”_

Kougami groans loudly as he takes his place in the front seat of the car.

“What is it?” 

“Gino’s bratty stepsister feels like threatening me. Guys, do I look that untrustworthy?” 

Akane looks back at Kunizuka in the back seat and they roll their eyes together, practically in unison. 

“Do you really want us to answer that?” Kunizuka’s voice is humorless as ever.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, no, I guess not.” 

“Are you going to answer her?” Akane’s voice is less patronizing, but equally nosy.

“I’ll think about it and decide later?” 

“Kougami. That is not the way to handle this.” 

“And how am _I_ supposed to know how to handle this?” 

Akane sighs as she puts the car in drive. 

Kunizuka snorts from the backseat. “Is it time for dating lessons with Tsunemori already?” 

“Shut up,” Kougami growls. 

“No, I just think Kougami should understand that his relationship with Gino’s stepsister - what’s her name?” 

“Mika.” 

“That his relationship with Mika is very important.” 

“Important?!” 

“Yes! It’s very important.” 

“But she’s the worst.” 

“Did Gino say that?” 

“No.” 

“Then she isn’t the worst.” 

“But I met her! She acted like the worst!” 

Akane glares at him as they stop a red light. 

“Well, if they’re step-siblings, odds are that their relationship is a little weird to begin with. Is she younger than he is?” 

“Yes.” 

“But she seems to feel protective of him, which shows that she really sees him as her brother, someone that she cares about and loves. I bet he feels that way too. You’re breaking into this situation, Kougami. It’s your job to make the relationships work, which means this is a great place to start!” 

Kunizuka whistles. 

“You really are his therapist, Akane.” 

“Fine, fine,” Kougami waves his hand dismissively. “So I want her to like me.” 

“No, you want to build a relationship with her.” 

“What?” 

“Okay, let’s start with her liking you.” 

“How should I respond to this very obvious threat?” 

The rest of the car ride turns into a brainstorming session on Nobuchika’s stepsister, and by the time they reach Kougami’s apartment, he has sent Mika a few pleasant text messages, and, according to Akane, set himself up for as much success as possible. 

_“Hi, Mika, it’s Kougami. I’m not really sure what I did either, to be honest. Your brother is a hell of a guy. I’m doing everything I can to make sure he’s happy. I might need your help sometime, though.”_

_“My help?”_

_“Sure. You’re much closer to Gino than I am, and I need help getting to know him and learning how to make him happy. You’re one of the best people who can help me with that!”_

_“Whatever. I’ll kick your ass if you hurt him. But fine. Maybe I’ll help you. I haven’t decided yet.”_

_“That’s okay. In the meanwhile, say hi to Dime for me, okay? I know he gets lonely when Gino’s away, he’s lucky to have you.”_

_“Yeah, yeah. I will. Don’t think you can sweet-talk me this easily though. And don’t call him Gino, that’s gross. This isn’t over, Kougami.”_

Well, she used his name. That’s a start. 

Kougami walks into his apartment and throws his suitcase on the floor unceremoniously. He flops down on the couch without turning the lights on. For the first time, he really begins to feel the weightiness of all that had happened over the last few days. 

There is nothing in him that even begins to regret any of it. His heart sinks sadly, as he warms up to the reality of loving someone who doesn’t live in the same city. Nobuchika was right. He is sort of a do-or-die person. Everything or nothing. 

He begins to doze off, and when he wakes he has a voicemail from Nobuchika. He curses himself for falling asleep, but listens to the message eagerly. 

Nobuchika’s voice is a little breathless, like he’s walking quickly, and chatter fills the background. No mistaking it, he’s in an airport. 

“Hi Kou, thanks for your message. I’m glad your flight went well, and I’m glad none of the flight attendants were very good looking. I, um, I miss you. A lot. Work is good. Leg one of today is over, but I’m just about to board for leg two. I’ll try you again on my next break, but don’t worry if you can’t pick up. I l-love you. Bye.” 

Kougami sighs. He isn’t sure how he’s going to get used to this. Being really in love is hard when you can’t smother your love with affection all the time. He knows it’s a good thing, that they’ll get to know each other and become friends. But right now, at this very moment, all he wants in the world is to be holding Nobuchika’s hand, sipping coffee, petting Dime, breathing easy without a care in the world.


	8. Growing Together From Afar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More stepsibling fun and a reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't keep them apart. I'm so weak. I'm pathetic. And, hey, more Mika/Kougami fun! Hit me up at is-your-heart-in-the-cards on tumblr if you wanna gush over these two, or anything at all, ever, really. I don't bite. I'm thinking probably one more chapter and an epilogue? But who knows.

Kougami settles back into his regular routine more quickly than usual. He doesn’t take the usual lag day off and gets back to work right away. Partially because he’s asking for a long weekend, but mostly because he can’t handle being alone. He misses Nobuchika too much. It’s overwhelming, how a week ago he considered himself a perfectly independent individual, proud to not be held back by anything. 

Now, there’s nothing he wants more than to come home to his apartment and cook dinner for more than just himself, to make a full pot of coffee in the morning, to wake up, pushed to the side of the bed by a sprawled-out lover.

After being back for a few days, and in preparation for Nobuchika’s coming visit, he decides it is probably a good idea to seek out an answer about switching departments. 

Over their daily lunch date, he plucks up the courage to ask Akane. 

“I have a question.” 

“Oh?” 

“It’s about work.” 

“Okay.” 

“Remember when the board offered me that management position? Where I would oversee the main branch of representatives?” 

Her eyebrows raise in surprise. 

“Yeah, we still have an interim director in the slot. To be honest, I think some of the board is holding out hope that you will change your mind and want the position, but others are getting itchy to fill it. The guy we have, he’s okay and all, but he’s not suited for administration, I don’t think.” She pauses, thinking. “I didn’t think you were interested in administration, either, though?” 

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking it might be nice to, you know, not be away so much.” 

“Is this about Nobuchika?” 

Over the last few days, Akane had spent a fair amount of time at Kougami’s apartment, going over and over the details of the trip, helping Kougami process his new relationship. 

“Maybe.” 

Akane laughs. “You’re a bad liar. Of course this is about him.” 

“How much of a rush are you guys in to fill that position?” 

“We haven’t seriously started considering anyone. I could buy you a couple weeks while you’re still figuring all of this out. There are plenty of other things the board can prioritize.” 

“I’d appreciate that.” 

She winks at him. “You’re so in love with him, it’s almost gross. But it’s really cute. I can’t wait to meet him.” 

Kougami has to smile. “Yeah, me either. How are things with Kagari?” 

“Good. We had an important talk yesterday.” 

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re getting married or something?” 

Akane laughs loudly. “Not at all. We just finally decided that we’re in love.” 

Kougami gapes at her, shock painted across his face. “How do you decide something like that? You make it sound like you had a choice.” 

She laughs again. “Of course I did.” 

Kougami groans. “How is that even possible? Not me. Am I just weak?” 

“No, you’re just different than I am. You’re too passionate to make a decision like love logically. Are you unhappy?”

Kougami considers this. He wishes that he could have fallen in love with someone closer, but he doesn’t have any reservations about what he’s doing, either. 

“No. I’m very happy. I mean, I better be if I’m going to be with someone halfway across the country, right?” 

“See, we’re just different.”

Kougami takes another bite of his sandwich. “I guess.” 

+++

“And this unaccompanied minor, she was just so talkative and I like kids, I really do, but the other passengers in her row were getting so upset. I bought them a few rounds of drinks in an attempt to keep the peace, but it was messy.” 

Kougami laughs into the phone. “I can picture it. Nobuchika Ginoza, master flight attendant, thrown completely off his game by a small child.” 

“I don’t suppose you could have done much better!” 

“No, but that’s not my job, Gino.” 

Their phone conversations are barely enough to satisfy either of them. They never have enough time: always just enough to rehash their days, explain the next day’s plans, say quick I-love-you’s, and hang up. Kougami’s chest aches. 

He had been right about one thing: pain is inevitable in a serious relationship. He feels almost vindicated, in a sick way, knowing he’d been right all along about the suffering love inflicts upon its victims. 

Still, he is happy, in a strange, melancholy way. 

“Hey, listen, I have to go. We’ve got to head to the runway.” 

“Okay. I can’t wait to see you again in a few days. Do you have your flight planned yet?” Kougami has been insistent on knowing the intimate details of Ginoza’s trip planning, partially because he harbors a fear deep down that Ginoza won’t come. 

“Yeah, I booked it today. I’ll text you the information. Better start organizing your apartment now. I bet it’s gonna take years to get it all the way clean.” The teasing seems to ease their sadness, even just a little bit.

“What makes you think I haven’t started already?” 

A laugh trickles through the phone. “Intuition, that’s all. Okay. I need to go. I love you.” 

“Call me the second you land. I love you too.” 

The phone clicks off, and Kougami tosses it to the side of his bed, frustrated. After a few minutes of laying around feeling sorry for himself, he looks around and realizes that Nobuchika is right, he definitely hasn’t started cleaning, and it is definitely going to take a while. Nobuchika arrives in two days, which feels like forever. 

He spends the next few hours sorting through mounds of laundry, chipping away at piles of dishes, and collecting garbage from the various parts of his apartment. He stops momentarily to marvel at his own ability to keep so much mess in such a small space. It’s impressive, he tells himself. 

Eventually he’s whittled the mess down enough that he feels he can take a break and work on something else. He should probably buy some groceries and stock up his place. He realizes that he was so engrossed in Nobuchika that he didn’t do what he should have done while he was there, which is take note of what kind of food Nobuchika keeps in his apartment. 

Sighing, Kougami realizes there is only one person he can ask to help him without going to Nobuchika himself. And he really wants to impress him, so that isn’t an option. 

He pulls out his phone: 

_“Hey, Mika, it’s Kougami.”_

She responds almost immediately, as though she has been waiting to pounce venomously on him all this time. 

_“Yeah, I know who it is. What do you want?”_

_“Your brother is coming to visit me. I was wondering if you could give tell me some things he likes to eat at home so I can stock up.”_

_“I know he’s coming AND he’s taking Dime. Do you have to take everything I care about, asshole?”_

_“I’m sorry?”_

_“You should be.”_

Kougami pauses, not sure what else to say. This isn’t going at all in the direction that he had hoped. Before he can respond, though, Mika sends him a surprisingly detailed list. Vegetables, sandwich material, nuts, she even notes that he prefers whole milk.

_“Is that good enough for you, booty call?”_

_“That’s great! Thank you so much!”_

Akane had instructed Kougami to be civil no matter what. It is really trying his patience, but he’s working on it. 

_“Don’t be such a suck-up. I know you don’t like me.”_

Perhaps a little banter couldn’t hurt, though. 

_“You know, Mika, the coldhearted bitch act works well on you, but I have you figured out."_

_“Is that so?”_

_“Yeah, you’re full of soft spots, mostly for your brother. You’ll have one for me soon enough.”_

_“Not if you keep taking him and his dog away from me!”_

_“We’ll see. Let’s talk again soon, okay?”_

_“Whatever. Also, Nobuchika’s favorite thing in the morning is sweet pastries with his coffee. You better keep him happy, or you’re done for.”_

With that, their correspondence ends. He hasn’t told Nobuchika about his talks with Mika, and he assumes that she hasn’t, either, or he would have mentioned it. He’s hoping to get through to her before he and Nobuchika have to talk about her. He really does seem to love her. Maybe Akane’s right, maybe she isn’t the worst. Kougami doesn’t have any siblings, and his parents have been out of the picture for quite a long time. The whole family thing isn’t really Kougami’s cup of tea, but he doesn’t really have a choice anymore. 

+++

Akane shows up unannounced at his apartment on the morning of Nobuchika’s arrival. Kougami opens the door and she beams at him, insisting that she _must_ accompany him to the airport. 

“Please? I’ll go away for a while so you can kiss him in peace but then I have to meet him!” 

It’s better this way. Kougami’s palms have been sweating all morning, he’s changed sweaters three times, he runs his hands through his hair obsessively without noticing. He needs her there. Sometimes he doesn’t like to admit how much he needs her in his life, but getting into his relationship with Nobuchika has shown him the ways he needs to make the people around him feel appreciated. If he can’t shower his love with affection constantly, he might as well spend the energy on the other people he cares about. 

“Of course you can come,” he says with an eye roll, hoping to sound annoyed or defeated, but throws in a small smile at her. 

“You aren’t upset at me. Don’t even pretend.” She stands up on her tiptoes and pokes his nose. 

“Stop acting like you’re my mom.” 

“You like it.” She winks at him, and they walk out of his apartment together. It’s spotless, perhaps the cleanest space Kougami has ever existed inside of in his life. He hopes it’s good enough, that he’s good enough.

They arrive at the airport and wait by the exit. As a flight attendant, Nobuchika knows how to pack a carry-on with four days’ worth of supplies and room to spare, so he has told Kougami that there’s no need to wait at baggage claim. 

Kougami feels a weight lift off his chest as a familiar silhouette walks out of the terminal, Siberian husky padding by his side, scanning the crowd. Kougami barely restrains himself from jumping up and down wildly, but doesn’t stop himself from breathing in sharply. 

He barely hears Akane say in the background, “He’s so cute, Kou!” 

“Oi, Gino!” Kougami ignores her and yells out at him. 

Green eyes light up as a shy but beaming smile splits across Nobuchika’s face. He does not run, but he shuffles quickly down the terminal ramp with Dime and walks up to Kougami. He drops his bag on the floor and Kougami gathers him up in his arms, squeezing him tightly, burying his nose in Nobuchika’s neck, running a hand through that soft hair. Kougami is vaguely aware of Akane squealing in delight and kneeling to pet the large, fluffy dog.

Neither of them speak for a moment, they simply stand, holding each other quietly, breathing deeply, as though trying to drink the moment in, savor it. When they lean back, Kougami cups Nobuchika’s cheek. 

“I missed you,” he says breathlessly. 

Nobuchika looks at him with a soft smile. “I missed you, too.” 

“I’m going to kiss you, okay?” 

Nobuchika nods and Kougami brings their faces close, inching their lips together slowly, teasing the moment out as long as he can. It is a slow and soft kiss, and when they pull back, Kougami sighs. 

“God, you are incredible.” 

Nobuchika turns pink. “Did I do something?” 

Kougami laughs. “I mean, you just existed. That’s all. You’re amazing and I missed you, and now you’re here and I just-”

To Kougami’s enormous surprise, Nobuchika cuts him off by kissing him again. Kougami is so surprised he almost forgets to kiss back. 

“Gino?” He says questioningly when the break apart.

“What? You get to be the only one who decides when we kiss?” 

Kougami laughs, holds Nobuchika tight against his chest again, and it feels like the greatest relief in the world, to be laughing with Nobuchika in his arms. 

Nobuchika pushes against him lightly, and turns his face down to Akane, who is still hard at work fussing over Dime on the ground. 

“You two seem to have hit it off?” 

“Oh, hi!” Akane stands up quickly, brushing out her skirt. She extends her hand.

“I’m-”

“Akane, right?” Nobuchika’s smiles at her charmingly. Kougami is almost jealous of the look. 

“Yes!” She grins back at him. “And you’re Nobuchika,” she says happily. 

“And this,” Nobuchika points to his dog, “is Dime, who you’ve met.” 

“Dime is so lovely!” 

“Yeah, he’s pretty much the best.”

“Okay, okay, you two,” Kougami breaks in, feeling ignored. 

“Don’t be a spoilsport, Kougami!” Akane pouts. 

“Yeah, Kougami,” Nobuchika smirks playfully. 

Kougami, annoyed, grabs Nobuchika’s hand aggressively. Picking up Nobuchika’s bag and slinging it over his back with his free hand, he roughly pulls Nobuchika towards the door, Akane grinning broadly in tow behind them. 

“Kou, can you drop me off at work? I have a meeting to get to,” she calls to him from behind. 

“A meeting?” 

Akane clears her throat awkwardly. Kougami blushes as he realizes she’s trying to exit the situation politely, like the good friend she is. “O-oh, of course. Akane’s a board member, so she’s got lots of meetings, you know, all the time,” he stammers out at Nobuchika, who grins, clearly enjoying Kougami’s fumbling. 

“You don’t say,” he says mildly. 

+++

After dropping Akane off at the company headquarters, they decide to get some food after popping by Kougami’s apartment to set down Nobuchika’s stuff and get Dime comfortable. 

Kougami unlocks the door, lets Nobuchika and Dime inside, and closes the door behind them. 

“Wow, it’s so clean,” is all Nobuchika says. 

“I, uh, I tried.” Kougami feels uncharacteristically shy. 

Dime circles around the living room a few times before curling up under the big window, eager to soak up some rays of sun as he naps comfortably. 

“Dime seems to travel well?” 

Nobuchika smiles. “Yeah. The flight was really easy, too. I think maybe he knew we were traveling for a good reason, for once.” His eyes widen slightly after saying ‘for once,’ but he recovers quickly and moves past it. 

“Where’s a good place to put my suitcase?” 

“You can put it in my room if you want,” Kougami says hopefully. Nobuchika nods encouragingly, and Kougami ushers him in the direction of his room. 

“I cleaned off the bench at the end of the bed, so you could keep it there.” 

“Thank you,” Nobuchika says gratefully as he sets it down. “Kou, I,” his voice wavers slightly. “I missed you so much.” 

“Gino,” Kougami whispers, moving to envelop Nobuchika in his arms. They meet easily, comfortably, and suddenly, Kougami forgets all about going out again. 

Nobuchika looks up again, affection in his eyes, and Kougami kisses him, long and soft, Nobuchika responds in kind, and Kougami feels like they are picking up where they last left off. Even though it’s been a week, miles apart, without a single touch, a single hug, everything feels just as right, just as easy.

They kiss and kiss, eventually tumbling their way to Kougami’s bed, pulling closer and closer, as if they could hold on tightly enough that they would never have to let go again. When the kisses grow too clumsy, they pull their faces apart, their bodies in close next to each other, listening to their heartbeats, breathing together. Kougami loves the way he doesn’t have to say anything. The way they pull together like magnets, like two sides of a book slowly being pushed towards one another, gradually meeting each other, exactly where they are supposed to be.


	9. The Past Never Really Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kougami finds out why Ginoza is so afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long this update took, guys. I'm not a fic-abandoner, but life sort of got in the way. But I'm back! Hopefully for some semi-regular updates again. 
> 
> I've had a few questions about Kougami and Ginoza's physical relationship, so I thought I'd explain it a bit here. In this fic, Gino is ace. There's no something that happened to him or anything like that. He just isn't interested in sex. Kougami's bi, and they need to talk about it, but in this fic, Kougami is willing to give that up to be with Gino. And I don't see any problem with that. 
> 
> Again, so sorry how long it took to update! I've gotten lots of love and I want to thank everyone for reading and therefore making this possible.

“So, welcome to my apartment.” 

Nobuchika smiles shyly at Kougami. They lay next to each other in Kougami’s bed, radiating contentment, as afternoon teases itself into early evening. 

“I feel thoroughly welcomed, Kou. Thank you.” 

Kougami props himself up on an elbow, runs his hand absently through Nobuchika’s long, soft hair. 

“Dime’s probably getting hungry. And you have to be too, don’t you?” 

Nobuchika nods. “Dime’s definitely going to be getting hungry. Didn’t we say we were going to get something to eat?” 

Kougami grins. “Sorry, I got a little distracted.” He leans in for another lingering kiss. Nobuchika responds happily. 

“Me too, it’s fine.” 

“Well, maybe we should go out now? What do you think?” 

“I think that I’m hungry.” 

Kougami can’t stand the way the corners of Nobuchika’s lips turn up when he’s shy. It’s too adorable. He kisses the left side, promising to himself to kiss the other side next time he sees it. 

“How does some Thai food sound? There's a great place just a few blocks away.” 

Nobuchika hums happily. “Delicious. Let’s do it.” 

They walk to the living room and Dime hops up enthusiastically, bounding over to the both of them with what seems to be a surprisingly human-like approval. Kougami bends down and scratches Dime's ears.

"Dime, I missed you. It's good to see you again." Dime licks Kougami's hand in seeming affirmation. 

"I think Dime missed you too," Nobuchika says. "Where's a good place to put his food bowl?" 

"Oh, anywhere really."

Nobuchika goes back to the bedroom to retrieve Dime's things, while Kougami and the husky exchange glances. 

"Am I doing okay so far?" Kougami whispers quietly. Dime wags his tail.

"I'd say you're doing great so far," Nobuchika's voice sounds out from behind him. Kougami jumps in surprise. 

"Oi, Gino, don't scare me like that," he unsuccessfully tries to fight off the blush rising in his cheeks. "I was just trying to have a normal, civil conversation with this fine dog here."

"I see. Well, at any rate, I think he thinks you're doing an impressive job of welcoming his owner. That's the vibe I'm getting from him." Nobuchika cocks an eyebrow in amusement. 

"Well, thanks for your support, Dime," Kougami stammers out at the husky, avoiding eye contact with his taller guest. 

Smirking, Nobuchika sets out Dime's food and goes to the kitchen to get some water. Kougami takes the way Nobuchika has made himself at home in Kougami's place already as a good sign. 

Once Nobuchika finishes fussing over his loyal companion, he straightens up and meets Kougami's eyes. 

"So, food?"

Kougami has recovered from his embarrassment and smiles wide. "Absolutely."

+++

As Kougami and Nobuchika order and eat, Kougami feels a sense of normalcy settling over them, and it warms him on the inside. They order and eat too much, laughing and bantering and talking about their weeks. 

They eat too much, talk too loudly, but Kougami doesn't care if the other patrons turn their heads. All that matters is that he and Nobuchika are back together. After dinner, and after some squabbling over the check, Kougami suggests that they wait a bit before going home. There's some things he wants to talk about, and he knows that once they get home all he will want to do is hold his lover close. Best they get the talking out of the way now. 

"Do you want to go on a walk? I know it's kind of chilly but it might be nice to get out a little bit."

"Yeah," Nobuchika answers. "I need to walk off some of that curry. It was delicious though."

"It's the best place in town, I'm glad you liked it."

They interlace fingers as they walk out into the open air of the night. 

“So,” Kougami isn’t sure how to start the conversation. He needs to ask, but he wanted to wait to have the conversation in person, instead of a hurried phone call. “Why are you so afraid I’m going to leave you?” He figures he better just get the question out there instead of beating around the bush. He knows that Nobuchika likes direct communication, and Kougami can't complain. He works much better with things out in the open.

Nobuchika inhales sharply. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be pushy,” Kougami adds carefully. “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.” 

Nobuchika sighs. “I wish you weren’t so sensitive. You would be easier to ignore.” Despite the space between them and the darkness of the crisp fall evening, Kougami can see a playful, yet somehow sad, tug at the corners of Nobuchika’s mouth. 

“I suppose it was inevitable. I guess I’ll start with the worst part.” 

“Gino, you don’t have to.” 

“No, I want to. You should know. So, my dad. He’s not a bad person. He’s just...” Nobuchika trails off, thinking. “He drinks too much. Always has.” 

Kougami doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods, indicating to Nobuchika to continue. 

“There was an accident, while he was driving. I don’t know why my mom wasn’t driving, but my dad was drunk. He hit a parked car going really fast, the passenger’s side got the worst of it. He lost his arm and my mom, well, she was in the hospital for a few days, but she had too much internal bleeding. They couldn’t save her.” 

Kougami’s eyes grow wide. “Gino...” 

“I was in community college but living with my parents when it happened, and I was really angry. When I think about it, I bet I dropped out of college to start working as a flight attendant so that I could stay away from that place as much as I wanted. But I need to be there for Mika, so I couldn’t leave entirely.” 

“Yeah, didn’t your dad get-”

“Remarried,” Nobuchika interrupts him to finish. “Barely a year after the accident. I bet part of it was that he couldn’t work, and he and I were barely surviving off his disability. Honestly, I was making most of the money at my stupid fast food job while I was in my flight attendant program. My grandparents tried to help me out, but they didn’t want anything to do with my dad, and I was so angry that I just cut everyone out entirely. Then he met Mika’s mom, and she was lonely and he was poor and she had a good job so they made it work, I guess.” 

“Do they get along?” 

“Sure. My dad isn’t a bad guy, like I said, he’s just a goddamned drunk. She’s pleasant enough, although I don’t think she knew what she was getting herself into. Mika hates him. My dad, I mean. She was just a little kid when all of this went down. I don't know the story about her dad, but he wasn't in the picture. So I don’t blame her. I kind of hate him, too. I mean, he killed my mom.” Nobuchika’s voice wavers. 

“Mom had got me Dime the week before the accident. Dime is sort of the one connection I have left to her. He was still a puppy, and it’s not like my dad could take care of him, with one arm and being drunk all the time. Having Dime to take care of definitely got me through the big storm of it.” 

“I’m so sorry, Gino.” 

“It’s in the past. But it does mean that I’m afraid of everyone leaving me. Mom died, Dad seemed to forget all about her, and now he and Mika’s mom have an unhappy, mediocre life together. Why should I want a relationship?” 

Kougami releases the hand he has been holding to wrap an arm around Nobuchika as they walk in the cool darkness. He lets silence wrap around them, as he soaks in the sad truth that Nobuchika shared with him.

“Thank you for telling me. And for, you know, staying with me. Even if it’s scary. I don’t want to scare you.” 

Nobuchika smiles sadly. “I can’t stay away from you. There’s no helping it. Thank you for listening.” 

Kougami squeezes Nobuchika tightly. “Anytime.” 

They make their way quietly back to Kougami’s apartment building, ambling slowly towards the door, not so much shy as wanting to stretch out the moment. 

After they get inside, Nobuchika removes his shoes. 

"I know it's like a weekend night and all, but can we watch a movie or read some books? It was a rough couple days of flying. With the annoying unaccompanied minors and all."

Kougami gathers Nobuchika up in his arms. "We can do whatever you want."

"How about a movie then?"

"Why don't you sit down on the couch and browse through Netflix? Do you want a drink? Some whiskey or some tea or something?"

"How about just a little whiskey and then some tea? Or am I being too high maintenance? I don't really know what I'm supposed to ask you for," Nobuchika looks down sheepishly. 

"I don't know that there's much 'supposed to' about it. Pick a movie. Relax. I had an easier week than you. I'll be right back."

As he boils water and pours two small glasses of whiskey, Kougami wonders if they could make a life of this. He allows himself to pretend, just for a few minutes, that this isn't his space - that it's _their_ space. When he walks back into the living room, Nobuchika is curled up in a blanket on the couch, petting Dime, who sits on the floor beneath him, absently. He has changed into a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, and he looks so much like he belongs there in that living room, that Kougami can't help but feel like everything is right with the world. 

"Tea and whiskey for the gentleman," he hands the whiskey glass to Nobuchika with a smile and sets the mug of tea on the coffee table. 

"I hope you don't mind that I changed."

"Not at all, Gino. You look great. I'm inspired, I'll go put on something more comfortable, too."

Kougami changes his clothes and sits on the couch with Nobuchika, they curl in on each other as a movie plays. Nobuchika rests his head on Kougami's shoulder, and Kougami hears him sigh contentedly.

About half-way through the movie, Kougami is vaguely aware of a soft breathing coming from Nobuchika. The overworked flight attendant has fallen asleep, and Kougami smiles to himself as he gently shifts the other man's weight and, as lightly as possible, lifts him up from the couch and carries him to the bedroom, movie forgotten, still playing in the background.

Nobuchika fidgets in Kougami arms.

"Sh, Gino, it's just me. Let's go to sleep."

Kougami tucks Nobuchika into the blankets and slips underneath them himself. 

"Kou?" Nobuchika says softly, turning to face him. 

"Yeah, Gino?" 

"I love you."

Kougami reaches over and guides Nobuchika forward so he can kiss his forehead. 

"I love you too. I missed you. Let's sleep."

"Mmm, sleep," Nobuchika says before drifting back into sleep, snores radiating from him mutedly. 

+++

Kougami wishes his mornings with Nobuchika would stop beginning with text messages, yet here he is, trying not to groan loudly at his phone as he fields message after message. 

_“Please, Kougami? Can we just have lunch or something? I’m dying here. Or we could double date! Do you want to double date?”_

Kougami is in a long text message battle with Akane, who is more than eager to spend time with Nobuchika. For his own part, he certainly wants them to meet, have fun, become friends, but he’s selfish. He wants Nobuchika all to himself for as long as he can have him. 

“Is it Akane?” Nobuchika mumbles, his head hidden under a pillow, as usual.

“Oh, you're awake. How did you...?” 

“I want to hang out with her. Let’s have lunch or dinner. Does she have a boyfriend? Let’s double date.” 

Kougami wonders if they’ve exchanged numbers and are secretly plotting against him. He isn’t sure he likes this alliance. 

“Yeah, yeah, she’s got a boyfriend. I’m not sure I like him though.” 

“Are you sure you aren’t just protective?” Nobuchika pulls the pillow off his head and grins at Kougami playfully. 

“I’m not protective,” Kougami growls. 

“Oh, yeah right.” 

“Whatever. I am not.” He can feel himself being defensive. 

"Let's have dinner with them. It will be nice to feel like a normal couple."

Kougami rolls his eyes. "What if I like not being normal? But if you insist, we'll have dinner." He turns back to his phone.

_"Fine. Dinner it is. Where should we meet you?"_

_"Yay!! What if you just come over to my apartment. Kagari is a great cook and it will be more comfortable anyway!"_

_"Okay. How's six?"_

_"I'll see you then!"_

"We're going to dinner at Akane's apartment at six. Are you happy now?" Kougami pokes Nobuchika. 

"Very."

"What should we do today?"

"I don't know, it's your city," Nobuchika pokes Kougami back, green eyes tinted gold with relaxation, happiness.


	10. Double Dates and More Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ever-suspicious Kougami has a crisis about his best friend's boyfriend. Shameless fluff, but is this fic ever anything else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I suck, guys. I promise I won't abandon this! But, you know, life happens. The budding ginaka brotp emerges. I am just all about platonic relationships, so I love it.

After a day of slow wandering around town, Kougami and Nobuchika come to Kougami's apartment to change and get ready for dinner. 

"You need to loosen up a bit, Kou," Nobuchika pokes Kougami in the side as he adjusts his shirt, a loose, blue button-up, Nobuchika had picked it out of his closet for him, said it matches his eyes. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gino," Kougami keeps his eyes on himself in the mirror, avoids eye contact with his grinning partner, who pokes him again. "Hey! That tickles!"

"Look at me." Nobuchika is more forceful than usual, so Kougami obliges sheepishly. 

"I want to hang out with Akane, and chances are her boyfriend isn't as bad as you think he is."

"You don't know that!"

"Do you trust her?"

"I-I, of course I do!" Kougami doesn't mean to stutter, or sound unsure, but he knows he does. 

"Then mellow out." Nobuchika says this with finality, as though it is the end of the conversation, but Kougami isn't going to let it go that quickly. 

"I swear, Gino, if he does or says anything, I'll-"

"You'll what?" Nobuchika smooths Kougami's shirt collar and steps back, head tilted to one side, hands in his hips, grinning mischievously. If the topic wasn't so sensitive, Kougami probably would find the expression irresistible. 

Instead of answering, Kougami turns away from Nobuchika, snorts haughtily. 

"You're cute when you're pouting."

"I'm not pouting!"

They continue to bicker playfully as they get ready, Kougami feeling a bit better about the situation as they leave to drive to Akane's apartment. Nobuchika is good for him, Nobuchika keeps him level-headed. Even when they tease, it feels easy, right. 

+++

Kougami knocks on the door to his best friend’s apartment, only to scowl when the door is opened, not by the small brown-haired business executive, but an energetic red-head. 

“Kougami!” The red-head grins widely. “I see you couldn’t find an excuse not to see me.” He winks. 

Kougami ignores the jab, and instead says, with a little more force than necessary, “Can we come in?” 

“Of course! Of course! Dinner isn’t done yet, but we have some wine and snacks.” 

Akane appears, in a casual but flattering black dress, hair conspicuously messy. Kougami does not like this at all. 

“Kougami, did you introduce them?” 

“No, not yet." They walk through the door to the entry, and Kougami introduces Kagari and Nobuchika, narrowing his eyes when they shake hands warmly. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Nobuchika’s smile is charming, easy. When he takes a break from seething at Kagari, Kougami feels like wrapping his arms around Nobuchika, but he isn’t sure if they are to the level of big gestures of affection in public, so he settles for interlacing their fingers, earning himself a small smile. 

“Wine? Snacks?” Kagari prods, motioning both of them towards the sitting room, decorated softly, a large couch and cozy loveseat. Ginoza and Kougami make their way across the room to the couch, sit comfortably. 

“This is closer to the snacks,” Nobuchika smiles at Kougami as he reaches for a plate, cautiously placing some cheese and crackers on it.

“You’re going to have to get used to him,” Nobuchika whispers. 

“What?!” Kougami jumps, caught off-guard. 

“Have you seen the way they look at each other?” Nobuchika raises an eyebrow. “He isn’t going anywhere, no matter what you say or do to him. So maybe try to be nice, for a change?” 

Kougami narrows his eyes. “I’ll try. Maybe.” Nobuchika has barely seen Kagari and Akane exchange a glance, there’s no way he could be certain about something like that. 

“At least think about it.” 

Akane takes the opportunity to walk from the kitchen to the living room, smoothing her hair some more.

“Kagari is roasting a chicken, and he’s shooed me out so he can do it all,” she turns to smile back at the kitchen. She looks back at the boys on the couch. “I have to admit that I did almost burn his kitchen down last time I tried to do it myself.” 

“Are you sure he didn’t give you too much to drink?” Kougami growls. 

Akane rolls her eyes. Kougami can tell that she understands his accusation perfectly. 

“No, Kagari and I saved the wine until we actually started dinner. Although,” her eyes open wide again as she smiles, ignoring Kougami's pettiness for the most part. “We did end up having to get delivery because my attempt at dinner was such a disaster.” 

Kougami feels Nobuchika chuckle next to him as Akane describes the situation. 

“Was the delivery at least good?” Ginoza is the one to contribute to the conversation, perhaps because Kougami is too distracted by brooding over his best friend’s boyfriend, whom he has yet to trust. 

“It was. We had pizza.” 

Nobuchika smiles. “That sounds nice.” 

Akane smiles back, and Kougami starts to feel left out. 

Kagari calls from the kitchen, “Don’t start talking up someone else’s food!” 

Akane calls back, “Oh, don’t worry, yours is the best anyway!” 

Her eyes crinkle at the corners when she looks back at Kougami and he admits, to himself, that maybe, just maybe, Kagari makes Akane happy and he should accept it. 

+++ 

“Okay, so, Kagari, can you explain exactly what it is you people in the development office actually do? The way other people tell it, it sounds like you might not have so much to do. I mean, I feel like I’ve been selling the same product for years. I’m not sure how that qualifies as development.” 

Kougami pointedly ignores Akane’s glare, focusing his attention on Kagari. He knows he should be paying attention to his own date, but this wasn’t his idea. He doesn’t want to be sitting here, forced to interact with his best friend’s good-for-nothing boy toy. 

Kagari sighs, a grin both resigned and amused on his lips. Kougami feels patronized.

“Well, Kougami, as you should know by now,” he emphasizes this, Kougami rolls his eyes dramatically. “We at the development office are more problem-solvers than anything.” He spreads his arms wide across the table. “Our job is pretty thankless, you know.” 

Akane steps in. “Kagari’s department handles every single complaint that comes in about the software.” 

“Ah, so you’re a fixer. Not a builder?” 

Nobuchika kicks Kougami under the table. Kagari, instead of being offended, considers this. 

“I guess you could say that. But our job is really to step in and build up what others have started, and where they’ve failed. We’re good at seeing holes and filling them.” Kagari winks, and Kougami pauses for a minute before looking at Akane. 

Akane goes pink, and hits Kagari’s arm, hard. 

“Ouch!” 

“Why would you say something like that?!” She shrieks. “We’re... eating!” 

Kougami glares harder, flashes of how to murder this tactless kid boiling up inside of him. 

“Whoa, guys, I’m only referring to software. Did you guys have something else in mind?” 

The crooked grin plastered on Kagari’s face infuriates Kougami. All he wants is to protect his best friend from someone who seems immature, maybe even predatory. Maybe he is exaggerating a little bit, but he doesn't care. 

“As Kagari was saying,” Akane’s voice is high-pitched, desperate, as she searches blindly for a topic other than sexual innuendos. 

“They do great work for the company. Kunizuka’s girlfriend Shion works with you too, doesn’t she?” 

Kagari sighs. “You’re right about that one. She’s a little overbearing, kind of nosy and inappropriate sometimes.”

“Gee, what’s that like-” Kougami starts. From the corner of his eye, he could swear he can see Ginoza and Akane locking glances, rolling their eyes in sync. But it must be a trick of the light. There’s no way either of them could be upset at him for this.

“But we get along fine. To be honest, I think Kunizuka mellowed Shion out a little.” 

“But enough about me!” Kagari seems to be finished poking at Kougami. “Ginoza, can I call you Gino?” 

Nobuchika stiffens, softening into a smile. “I suppose.” 

“You’re a flight attendant,” Kagari continues. “Has anything scary ever happened on a plane? Like you thought you were gonna crash or something?” Kagari’s eyes are wide, curious. 

“Kagari-” Akane chides him. 

Nobuchika holds up a hand. “No, it’s okay.” He clears his throat, and Kougami is momentarily surprised by the seriousness that comes over Nobuchika's face. 

"Nothing scary has ever really happened before, but I used to be completely terrified of flying, actually."

"No shit?" Kagari voices the surprised question on everyone's minds.

Nobuchika laughs, a soft jingle. "Yeah, I used to be a big baby when it comes to flying. But then I needed some way to get out of my city without leaving entirely, and our community college had an intensive flight attendant program. I guess I decided it was best to face my fears head-on," Nobuchika give Kougami a sidelong glance, smiling slightly. 

Kagari whistles. "That's impressive. I'm doing the thing that comes naturally to me, and it's hard enough."

"Well," Nobuchika continues. "Being around lots of different kinds of people for long periods of time comes naturally to me. I love meeting new people, so really the only thing that I had to get over was the fear of flying. And I wouldn't say I'm totally there."

"I never would have guessed," Kougami says. 

"You learn something new every day, right?" Nobuchika answers, the same smile present on his face. Kougami loves every bit of it. If that smile could stay forever, he would be happy. 

After dinner, the two couples make their way to the living room, sipping drinks and eating cookies Akane had baked - she insisted that baking and cooking were two different things, and certainly she could bake, even if she was still learning how to cook. 

Kagari is growing slowly but surely on Kougami. As he watches the way Akane giggled at his jokes, how Kagari gingerly smooths her hair playfully but gently, he suddenly realizes that they really do love each other, and Kougami, having just found love himself, can't deny anymore much it matters. 

+++

As he puts on his coat, he hears Nobuchika and Akane talking in low voices in the kitchen. They seem to be laughing. He turns to go to them, but is caught by the shoulder.

"Hey," Kagari gently tugs Kougami around to look at him. 

"Uh, hi," Kougami answers awkwardly. He's spent so long being suspicious of Kagari that he isn't sure how to interact with him one-on-one. 

"Look, I know you don't really like me-"

"That isn't true!" It is. Or, it was. Kougami's working on it. 

"The hell it's not. And I get it. You care about her. But so do I." Kagari's voice is honest, Kougami can't help but believe him. 

"I want to make her happy, and you're important to her, so if you could give me a chance, I'd really appreciate it." Kagari pauses, as though he's going to say more, but reconsiders. "Anyway, that's it. Thanks for coming over, I'm glad we got to meet Gino." 

Kougami gives Kagari a small, genuine smile. He's willing to compromise. He'll at least try to like him. 

Nobuchika and Akane both walk out of the kitchen to Kougami and Kagari, voices louder, chatting about nothing serious. 

Akane hugs Kougami roughly before smiling at both of them. "Run along, you two. It was nice to see you again, Gino."

They wave as they walk out the door. Kougami turns to his companion with suspicious, but not accusatory eyes. 

"What was that about?"

"Oh," Nobuchika's reply is soft. "It's nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing."

"We were just talking about you, that's all." 

"Me?"

"Yeah."

They walk out into the night, hands finding each other naturally.

"You gonna tell me anything more specific?" Kougami eyes his lover. Nobuchika catches his eye for a moment before looking back at their path forward. 

"Oh, we just talked about how intense you are about everything. I told her I'm worried about having to leave you alone so much. I think it's easier for me than for you."

"No offense, Gino, but aren't you worried about being left behind?" It comes out harsher than he means it to, and Kougami regrets the statement immediately. 

To his surprise, though, Nobuchika chuckles. "I'm starting to worry less."

Kougami feels his heart swell with Nobuchika's easy admission of security. It's enough to make him stop walking, drop their hands, and turn Nobuchika towards him. He looks Nobuchika right in his beautiful green eyes and says, "I love you," before pulling the taller man tightly in an embrace. 

They get in the car and drive back to Kougami's apartment, where they retrieve Dime and take him out for an evening walk. The night air is cool, the sky is clear, and Kougami tries not to think about how Nobuchika has to leave eventually. He pretends this is forever, endless, like the starry sky above them.


	11. We Could Hide Inside Ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As is fitting for him, Kougami says something he shouldn't, and pretty much everyone tells him that he's stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just my opportunity for me to dump all the salt I feel for canon Kougami on him here. I probably should have made the angst last longer, but here I can't hurt them like that. Have some angsty fluff. The chapter title is from "Miles Apart" by Yellowcard and the full line is: "We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind."

The day has come for Nobuchika to go back to work, back to flying all around the country, far away from Kougami. They drive to the airport, and Kougami insists on carrying Nobuchika’s well-packed bag as they walk inside, Dime walking beside Nobuchika quietly. Even Dime seems to know that this isn’t a happy moment. 

“This was nice,” Nobuchika says with a smile as they reach the counter for his airline. Forced as the words are Kougami loves them. 

“Yeah, it was,” he sets the bag down and shoves his hands in his pockets, still new to this relationship thing, these boundaries, murky, strange, different. “I’ve talked to the company about transferring departments, but it won’t come up until the next board meeting. So I’m still traveling.” 

“Yeah, on my next sequence of days off you’re going to be on a business trip again. So that won’t work.” 

“Dammit, this has to work somehow.” 

“I don’t know, Kougami,” Nobuchika says, eyes growing hard. “This might be too hard for you.” 

“For me? What about you?” 

“I’ll be okay. I’m used to having my world turned upside down.” 

A pause follows. Kougami knows Nobuchika is right. Kougami has never been in love like this before, and he isn’t sure he can handle it. Being so close, but so far. 

“We can do it. Let’s just give it a few months. Can we give it a chance?” Kougami looks up hopefully. As much as his chest aches, seeing Nobuchika leave, the knowledge that sometime, not too far away, he’ll see him again, talk to him again, is enough, no matter how small it is. 

Nobuchika smiles, eyes softening. “I think we’ve already sort of established that. I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it. It’s just hard for me to leave.” 

“It’s hard for me to see you go, but it’ll be okay. We can Skype. Call me when you land?” Kougami opens his arms to invite Nobuchika into an embrace. It works well, his initiation, Nobuchika’s acceptance of it. They’re figuring this out, slowly but surely. 

Nobuchika responds to the hug, kisses Kougami’s cheek as he fits easily into his arms. It is calm, it is nice, it hurts because Kougami has to let him go. A thought flits through his mind, that it really isn't enough, and some part of him begs him to keep his mouth shut, to keep it to himself, but Kougami is impulsive. Some things never change.

“Or maybe you could just quit? And stay here with me? My job is more than enough to support us both.” He doesn’t mean to say it out loud. He knows what’s going to happen, but he just can’t help himself. 

Nobuchika pulls back sharply, lets go of Kougami entirely, uncertainty, fear, clouding his eyes. Kougami knows he’s fucked up. Fucked up really badly. 

“Quit my job? Quit the only thing in my life that has ever had success? Come to a new city, abandon my seventeen year old sister?” His voice raises, cheeks flushing. Kougami tries to stop him. 

“Gino-” 

“And for what? A brand new relationship that has hardly been tested out? How could you ask me to do something like that? What if you find someone better? Get bored? Then I’m up a creek in a place I don’t know, without an income or a family.” Nobuchika’s jaw is tight. 

“Not work out? Someone better?” Anger flares up in Kougami’s chest, he wants to control it, but he can’t. After all, some things never change. “I love you!” Kougami says, it comes out harsh, a brittle truth that should be beautiful. Instead, it sounds like an accusation, like a curse. 

“Kou, don’t do this,” Nobuchika backs up even more. “Don’t you fucking manipulate me.” He spits the words out, Kougami is reminded, fleetingly, of the annoyance back on their first plane ride. But that was banter, silliness, not like this. This is much worse. 

“I’m not manipulating you!” 

“Yes you are.” Nobuchika growls. “Whether you mean it or not, you are. I don’t want to hear anymore.” 

He grabs his bag from Kougami’s feet, holds Dime’s leash tightly. 

“Gino... I didn’t mean it,” Kougami’s voice softens, forehead scrunched up. He really hadn’t meant it to sound so extreme, so desperate. 

“You did mean it. You want me to quit. How could you ask that of me? What makes you think that would be fair?” 

“I just want things to be easier.” 

“Life isn’t easy, Kougami.” 

With that, Nobuchika turns on his heel and walks towards the TSA line. 

“Nobuchika, wait!” Kougami calls out, somehow has the good sense not to grab him. Physical contact now isn’t going to do anything but hurt the situation. He finds some tiny solace in his ability to control himself that much.

Nobuchika looks over his shoulder as he continues to walk, if Kougami isn’t mistaken, with eyes shining, too much like tears for Kougami to be comfortable. 

“I’ll call you later,” Nobuchika says simply, turns back and tugs Dime along as he hurries away. “I love you too,” he mutters, Kougami barely hears it, and it is of no comfort.

Kougami is reminded of the coffee shop date, when Nobuchika had done this very thing. When Kougami had done something idiotic, kissed someone who needed space. Now he’s demanding something unreasonable, asking Nobuchika to leave his life behind. 

Things had been so good. He cursed at himself. “You fucking idiot,” he mumbles as he makes his way back to his car, unlocks it, shuts the door too hard. He lays his head on the steering wheel for a moment, wishing he could just keep his mouth shut for once. 

+++

A few hours later, he gets a text message from Akane.

_“We’re supposed to get lunch. I’m at the sandwich shop. Where are you?”_

Kougami stares at the phone, not sure how to answer. He is laying on his bed, moping. He is a complete idiot. What the fuck was he thinking, asking Nobuchika to do something like that? 

_“...”_

He answers cryptically, not sure what to say. He feels bad, vaguely, standing her up like this, but he’s done it before, usually for better reasons. She’s forgiving. Maybe too forgiving.

Akane’s response is almost immediate: 

_“What happened?”_

How does she always know? It’s creepy, really, how Akane can read him like an open book, even when she isn’t in the same room as he is. Or, it would be creepy, if it was anyone else.

_“I am a fucking idiot.”_

_“Don’t say that.”_

_“It’s true.”_

_“Are you coming to lunch or what?”_

_“I’m not hungry.”_

_“For fuck’s sake,”_ Akane isn’t a big swearer, so she has to be really annoyed, but Kougami doesn’t care. 

_“I’m coming over. Make sure you have clothes on.”_

_“You don’t have to.”_

_“Shut up. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. If you say one more thing to stop me from coming, I’ll have them put onions on your sandwich, and you wouldn’t want that, would you?”_

What a cheeky little girl his best friend is.

Not too many moments later, an impatient, firm knock sounds on his door. The sandwich shop is only a few blocks from Kougami’s apartment complex. 

“It’s unlocked!” He calls from the bedroom. 

Akane lets herself in and he hears the take-out bags rustle as she sets them on his table with her purse. Her feet pad lightly down the hallway and she knocks on his open bedroom door, without looking in. 

“Do you have pants on?” 

He grunts, and apparently gets his point across because she sticks her head in. 

“Come on,” her tone softens. He looks up to meet her eyes and sure enough, they are kind. 

Kougami rolls off the bed and walks over to her. Akane gives him a side hug, walks with him back to his living room. He sat on the couch while she retrieved their food. 

“Here. Eat.” She sits next to him and hands him his sandwich. 

“No onions?” He cocks an eyebrow at her, manages a small smile. 

She smiles back, obviously happy to see his. “No onions.” 

They eat in silence for a while, and finally she asks. “So, what did you do?” 

“Ugh,” is all Kougami manages at first. “I asked him to quit his job, come stay with me, I would support him, blah blah blah. Obviously it didn’t go very well. He felt pressured or something. You know?” 

“Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best idea. But it will be okay,” she takes a bite of her sandwich, sits, gives him space to talk if he wanted. 

Her quiet confidence is somehow reassuring. One of the strange things about her success in the business world is her gentleness. Kougami has always admired that about the tiny girl. She is firm when she needs to be, but generally approaches things with a calm spirit and a clear head. 

Pretty much the exact opposite of how he handles things. 

“What should I do?” 

“Hmm.” She swallows. “Just wait it out. You two are going to make it. Let him call you. The last thing you want to do is pressure him more.” 

Kougami nods. “Easier said than done though,” he says honestly. “I miss him already.” 

She smiles, almost sad, puts her plate down and reaches up to squeeze his shoulder. 

“I know. I’m sorry. But wait for him. Let him come around on his own time. He will feel reassured that way.” 

Kougami sighs. “You’re right. You’re always right.” 

They sit, alternating between silence and speaking. 

“So I’ve decided that I want to switch between departments for sure,” Kougami says. 

“That was quick,” Akane seems unsurprised, doesn’t even meet his eyes as she searches through the takeout bag for the fresh-baked cookies that they always got with their sandwich.. 

“I know. It’s what I want, though.” 

“The next board meeting is in two weeks. I’ll bring it up then. I’m sure it’ll be an easy decision for us. Cookie?” She extends one to him. 

He smiles at her. “Sure. Let me grab the milk.” He stands up from the couch and meanders to the living room, glad to have such a good friend, energy so understated, support as a given in their relationship. 

“By the way, I had fun with you and Kagari,” he calls from the kitchen. 

“You seemed a little stressed to me,” her voice is teasing. “I can tell you still don’t trust him.” 

“I’m working on it, okay?” 

“Sure you are.” 

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, Akane.” 

Her soft jingle laugh is all he needs for an answer.

+++ 

After Akane leaves, Kougami settles in on his couch with a book, his phone teetering on the coffee table, tilted carefully in case it rings at all. Kougami notices just how hopeless he is for Nobuchika. He waits for the phone to ring, prays that it will soon. 

And soon enough, it chirps. Not a call, but at least a text message. He picks it up hopefully, only to find: 

_“You son of a bitch.”_

Oh great. This was the last thing he needed. He exhaled slowly, typed a reply.

_“Mika, I’m sorry.”_

_“You’re sorry?! Nobuchika won’t call me even though I had a shit day. What the fuck did you do? I get free plane tickets because he’s a flight attendant, so I can be there in a few fucking hours to kick your ass if you don’t tell me every goddamn thing you did to upset him.”_

Kougami stares at the phone for a minute before typing out the truth. 

_“I said something stupid.”_

_“What exactly was that ‘something’?”_

He decides to bite the bullet and just tell her. After all, Akane has trained him to be honest and respectful with Mika, even if she can’t bother to return the favor. 

_“I asked him to move in with me. Quit his job. It was stupid.”_

_“WHAT”_

_“I love your brother a whole hell of a lot, okay?! And I said it was stupid.”_

He can see that she’s beginning to type again, but this is taking too long, so he decides to make her really yell at him if she’s going to. He hits dial on the phone, and it rings a few times before: 

“Uh, hello?” Her voice sounds surprised, taken off guard. Good, this means Kougami has the upper hand, at least for a minute. 

“Hi, Mika,” he goes for businessman voice, cool, even, collected. “I figured we could talk better this way.” 

“W-well, fine,” her voice grows harsher, but still tentative. “You are ridiculous. How could you ask Nobuchika to do something like that?” 

She is angry, but less vulgar, apparently intimidated by the phone call. 

“I just... I just don’t want him to leave me. That’s all,” Kougami decides honestly is the best course of action here. Mika doesn’t strike him as the kind of person who puts up with bullshit, after all, she’s learned from Nobuchika. 

“Hey look,” she softens, surprising Kougami completely, “I get it, okay? But I... I need him too, you know.” Apparently his honesty is rewarded with hers. He shakes the thought that Akane would be proud from his head as he cracks a tiny smile. 

“I know. That’s the main reason I know it was so unreasonable to ask him to quit. And he loves his job, I know he does. It was impulsive and stupid. I won’t do something like that again, okay?” 

“I don’t really believe you, Kougami,” she uses his name, at least. “Because I can see how much you love him, and you’re a big fucking moron, it seems.” 

Ouch. He waits for her to continue. 

“That being said, I’ll tell him to call you. I’ll tell him you didn’t mean it. Or, you did, but you realized it was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.” 

“Is this your way of being nice?” 

“I’m offering to help you. You better take the deal.” 

“Okay! Okay!” Kougami pauses. “Why are you helping me?” 

Mika sighs from the other end of the line. “Because he really loves you, too. I can hear it in his voice when he talks about you. It’s pretty gross, actually. But I want him to be happy. He’s really taken care of me, even if his dad sucks.” 

“Thanks, Mika. You know, if you ever need anything...” 

“We’re not best friends yet, okay? So don't get too friendly.” A bit of the bite creeps back into her voice. If he’s not mistaken, though, Kougami thinks he catches the hint of a smile in her last comment. “Let me know if you don’t hear from him in the next day, and I’ll track him down for you.” 

“Thanks, Mika. I promise to be less stupid.” 

“I guess that’s probably the best you can manage. Bye.” She hangs up suddenly. 

Kougami pulls the phone away from his ear, stunned. Eventually he leans back into the couch, pulls out the book again, flips through it, unable to focus on the words. 

+++

Kougami is in a fitful sleep when the phone rings. 

Blessedly, it’s Nobuchika. 

“Gino!” He picks up quickly. 

“Kou,” the voice, strained, but almost relieved, meets him. “I’m sorry, I know it’s the middle of the night.” 

“Don’t be!” Kougami speaks quickly. “I wasn’t sleeping well anyway. I just keep thinking about what I said, Gino, and I want you to know that I would never mean to pressure you or anything-”

“Kou, I know,” Nobuchika interrupts him. “I’m sorry I pulled back so quickly. But I like my life. You’re becoming a part of it, pretty quickly. I still have to live for myself, you know? It’s taken a while to become who I am, and I’m just starting to like it. Getting out of all of that dad stuff.” 

“I know. That’s why I feel like such an idiot,” Kougami feels the weight in his chest easing, his heartache lessen, because he can hear that Nobuchika still loves him. He didn’t fuck everything up entirely. 

He hears a laugh, and he feels even better. 

“One of the things I like about you is your passion, Kou, you just need to keep it in check once in a while.” 

“I know, I’m working on it.” 

“I heard you talked to Mika, too.” 

Kougami is surprised at this. “Yeah, it was okay.” 

“You’re growing on her. She was the one who convinced me to call. I’m in the middle of a layover, so she told me this was as good a time as any.” 

“She was right,” Kougami smiles into the phone. 

“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you.” 

Kougami relaxes onto his pillow, misses Nobuchika’s warmth besides him, but this is enough, for now.

“Thanks, Gino.”  


	12. I Hope Tomorrow Is Like Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most domestic Valentine's Day you could ever imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is the title of a Guster song.

“Hey, Gino,” Kougami tries not sound breathless as he leaves the voicemail. “Akane is going to pick you up from the airport. I hope that’s okay. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you. Bye.” 

He hangs up quickly and continues rushing around the apartment. 

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Kougami is a frantic, rushed mess. He imagines that his hair is even messier than normal, something Nobuchika never fails to complain about, although judging by the twinkle in his eye every time he smooths Kougami’s hair down, the flight attendant must find it amusing. 

His phone buzzes. It’s a text message. 

_“Hey. The plane’s taxiing. It’s fine. Are you sure she doesn’t have somewhere to be? I can take a cab.”_

_"She said it's fine."_ He types back quickly. 

Kougami feels a twinge in his chest as he realizes he’s nervous about Akane’s first Valentine’s Day with Kagari. Okay, nervous might not be the right word. Concerned? That might be closer to the truth. 

They’ve been together for months now. He should be over this. He likes Kagari, he really does. Nobuchika is right, he is way too overprotective. Nobuchika has been talking him through letting go of Akane. Nobuchika should know, too, he has an actual little sister. It’s been helpful, and Kougami’s ill sense of ease around Kagari has grown less over the last few months, but it isn’t easy to shake. 

Kougami and Nobuchika have been together for a few months now, too. The distance hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t been the worst thing either. They manage to see each other for at least a few days every few weeks. Despite the difficulty distance poses, Kougami has found Nobuchika easy to be with. Just like their first coffee date all that time ago, everything flows naturally with him. 

He pulls himself out of his head and glances around the apartment. It’s vacuumed, tidied, and there are even flowers on the coffee table. He moves to the kitchen, the one space Kougami has yet to manage to keep clean on a regular basis. 

Every time Nobuchika comes to visit it’s the same: Kougami rushes around the office, frantically delegating tasks and likely pissing the entire representative team off, although Kunizuka too often saves his ass, smirking and rolling her eyes, but saving him nonetheless with her strange diplomacy. Once he gets his tasks delegated, office work done, he texts Mika. 

It’s almost ritualistic, Mika told him once. Kougami and Nobuchika’s stepsister are on much better terms now. Kougami has even convinced her to apply to his alma mater, right there in the city. 

But this time, he has been a little bit better. Preparing for Valentine’s Day is a special occasion, after all, and Kougami has done everything he can think of. 

He’s learned many things about his partner over the last few months: going out once in a while is fun, but it needs to low-key, and nothing about a Valentine’s Day out on the town says ‘low-key,’ he likes staying in, nice champagne, quality time, and snuggles. 

They had a proper talk about sex about a month into their relationship. Kougami told Nobuchika that he just needed to know for sure, and he wanted Nobuchika to be completely honest with him. 

Embarrassed still, but more confident than he had been before, Nobuchika had told Kougami firmly that he is asexual, with no sex drive at all, and it’s not something he can compromise on in a relationship, little experience though he may have. 

Kougami has been just fine with that. It’s been a bit of an adjustment of expectations, sure, but Kougami really loves Nobuchika. If that’s not something he can do, Kougami is completely willing to leave it be. Truth be told, the closeness, nights curled up into each other like parentheses or spoons, those are more than enough for Kougami. 

All he hopes for is that someday, that will be every night, or even most nights. The coolness of his empty bed is not refreshing, and the lack of warmth - particularly Nobuchika’s warmth - makes his heart ache. 

Waiting has never been Kougami’s specialty. 

Today, despite racing around like a madman, Nobuchika’s arrival can’t seem to come fast enough. 

The chicken he’s roasting in the oven smells delicious (if he doesn’t mind saying so himself), the bread from what has become Nobuchika’s favorite bakery while visiting is warming as it sits atop the softly humming oven. 

Candles seemed a bit overboard, but his table is set simply, minimalist, inspiration Kougami has taken from Nobuchika’s apartment. He hasn’t been back to Nobuchika’s home since their first eventful weekend, but they are in the process of planning a trip for Kougami. After all, Kougami can’t keep Nobuchika away from Mika on all his time off. 

He can hardly believe it, but Kougami has found himself wishing to see the moody barista herself in the last few weeks. Just as he is reflecting on how quickly things can change, a knock sounds on the door. 

Kougami dashes to the door, and opens it eagerly. 

A soft smile and excited eyes peeking from beneath dark bangs greet Kougami. 

No matter how long it’s been, Kougami still feels like he’s about to vomit butterflies every first time he sees Nobuchika again. 

“Hey,” Nobuchika says, a bit breathlessly. He also seems to not yet be used to their greetings. 

Something about distance makes even the most basic moment of meeting mean so much. Kougami can’t exactly say he is thankful for it, but he finds himself not taking any moment for granted, and that, maybe, is a thing to be grateful for. 

Kougami all but lunges forward as he wraps Nobuchika in a tight embrace, luggage-be-damned. He pulls back from the hug and kisses Nobuchika softly. 

“Hey,” he returns the greeting, finally. “Come inside?” 

“Of course.” 

Nobuchika rolls his neatly-packed, compact suitcase in with him and sets it down next to the door, removing his shoes and jacket, placing them where he always does. They do this often enough that there’s a routine, and it feels oddly homey, even if it doesn’t happen often enough. Dime is with Mika this weekend, and she’s apparently quite happy about it, so no dog pads in after Kougami’s boyfriend. Kougami likes Dime, and misses the jovial warmth that comes with a pet’s energy, but he’s glad Mika doesn’t have to be lonely this weekend. 

“Akane didn’t want to come in?” 

“She said something about a date to get ready for, although she assured me that you hadn’t taken up too much of her getting-ready time, so I don’t need to tell you off.” 

Kougami grins sheepishly before turning back to walk towards the kitchen. Already things are at ease and comfortable. “I’m really trying here.” 

“I know. She knows too. You’ve come a long way, actually,” Kougami can hear without looking Nobuchika’s smile in his voice, and all is right with Kougami’s world. 

“Wow, Kou,” Nobuchika’s smile lights up as he glances around the apartment when Kougami walks back in with the food, “you really cleaned up.” 

Kougami drops his jaw dramatically, feigning hurt. “That’s all you can say!” 

“I’m kidding. Everything looks amazing.” 

Kougami hugs him again, tightly, basking in Nobuchika’s warmth, the soft feel of his long bangs. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Kougami whispers. He feels Nobuchika smile against his cheek. 

“I got you something,” Nobuchika says as he pulls back. 

“Give it to me after dinner? I don’t want anything to get cold.” Kougami places the chicken on the table and motions for Nobuchika to join him. 

Nobuchika’s eyes crinkle as he smiles. “Sure. It smells amazing.” 

“To be honest, I had to practice once or twice.” 

“Just once or twice?” Nobuchika pokes Kougami as they settle in their chairs on the table. 

Kougami rolls his eyes. “Just twice, for your information.” 

“How was the last trip?” 

Nobuchika takes a sip of water as he thinks. “It was really neat, actually. I got a longer layover than usual in New York, so I got to do a few hours of sight-seeing.” 

“Do you get to do that much?” 

“No, not really,” Nobuchika sighs. “As much as the traveling is wonderful, usually I have to make special trips of my own to go see things. So it was nice to get to go for a quick bit of fun in the midst of the long stretch of days. It’s so tiring to be up in the sky, as you like to say,” Nobuchika winks, “forever.” 

They eat, words interspersed with pleasant silence, and Kougami reflects on how normal everything feels. 

“How long have we been together now?” 

Nobuchika looks up from his food and cocks an eyebrow. “You never can keep track, can you?” 

“I mean, I could,” Kougami smirks, “but you’re just so much better at it than I am, you know.” 

“Don’t flatter me,” Nobuchika snorts. “Three months and two weeks.” 

Kougami whistles. “That’s a long time.” 

“You say that every time,” Nobuchika says, but he’s smiling. Kougami knows how to amuse him. 

As they finish eating, silverware clacking happily on the empty plates, Nobuchika leans back and sighs contently. 

“Can I give you your present now?” 

Kougami feels his heart flutter as he smiles and nods. “Of course. I’ll put the dishes in the sink and meet you on the couch.” He leans forward in his seat to press a light kiss on Nobuchika’s cheek before standing up and stacking the plates neatly.

Out of his peripheral vision, Kougami sees Nobuchika stand and go to his bag, and he can’t help but revel in the happy hop of his partner’s stride, something he has learned indicates when Nobuchika is happy. He walks with a bit of a bounce, and Kougami finds it beyond endearing. 

Kougami deposits the dishes in the sink and heads for the living room, where he settles comfortably on the couch, awaiting his gift. 

“Okay, close your eyes,” Nobuchika walks in front of the couch, moving carefully not to show the something behind his back. 

Kougami obliges and shuts them, holding his hands out. Something firm and heavy is placed on his upturned palms.

“Can I open my eyes now?” 

With a small chuckle, Nobuchika says, “Yes.” 

Kougami opens his eyes, and looks down to find a beautiful, leather-bound set of books on his lap. He runs his fingers over the binding, eyes widening. 

“The complete Sherlock Holmes?” 

Nobuchika plops down happily next to him. 

“How did you know?” 

“Come on, Kou,” combined with the use of the nickname, Nobuchika’s tingling laugh brings warmth to Kougami’s heart. “We’ve been together long enough. You think I don’t see those tattered old books on your nightstand?” 

“I’ve had those for quite a while!” 

“And how many times have you read them?” 

Kougami huffs, and doesn’t answer. 

Nobuchika sniffs in triumph. “You don’t even know how many times I’ve read them. You even read them when you wake up at night and you can’t go back to sleep.” 

“You’re such a sound sleeper that there’s no way you could know that,” Kougami turns his nose up. 

Nobuchika thwacks Kougami’s shoulder playfully. “But I do know. Maybe I’m not as sound a sleeper as you think.” 

Kougami allows a pause to pass, sets the set of books on the coffee table and holds one of them in his hands. He flips through the pages and listens to the rustling, the subtle cracking of a new, high-quality binding. A sigh escapes him. 

“I knew you would like them,” Nobuchika says, finally. “I won’t judge you if you smell the book, either.” 

Kougami glares at him before doing exactly that. The fresh scent of new paper and fresh ink is one of his favorite things, and despite Nobuchika’s slight chuckle, he can’t bring himself to be embarrassed about them.

“I really do like them,” Kougami looks up from the book and into those deep green eyes, loses himself in them and doesn’t have room to care. 

“Maybe you can read some of it to me before we go to sleep?” The green eyes sparkle as Nobuchika asks. 

Kougami reaches up to cup Nobuchika’s cheek, and pulls him in for a gentle kiss. 

“Anything for you, my love.” 

+++

In the end, Kougami falls asleep more quickly than Nobuchika. He wishes he could stay awake and read to him forever, but he keeps nodding off. 

He jerks up suddenly as Nobuchika gently plucks the leather-bound book from his hands. 

“I c-can keep reading,” he manages before breaking into an ill-timed yawn. 

“If you keep falling asleep, you’re going to drool all over my beautiful present,” Nobuchika teases with a poke. 

“Alright, alright.” 

Kougami clicks his night lamp off and lays down, facing Nobuchika. 

“Someday we’ll do this more often,” Nobuchika whispers, to Kougami’s surprise. Nobuchika doesn’t often talk about the distance, their time apart. Nobuchika has opened up more and more as their relationship has gone on, but he still treads lighter than Kougami, plays his cards closer to his chest. Kougami doesn’t mind. 

“Don’t be sad, okay?” Kougami ruffles Nobuchika’s hair, green eyes still sparkling even in the dark. “It’s Valentine’s Day.” 

“I’m not sad,” Nobuchika says, and Kougami knows he’s telling the truth. “I’m very happy, actually.” 

Kougami shifts himself forward, just enough to bring his lips to Nobuchika’s forehead. 

“I am too, Gino.” 

“What should we do tomorrow, Kou?” 

“Maybe go to the aquarium? Or on a picnic?” 

“Those sound like nice things.” 

Kougami floats off into a warm sleep, guided into it by Nobuchika’s peaceful, happy voice.


	13. Making A Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobuchika is ready for a change, permanently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM UPDATING THIS. it was last updated i believe in february of 2016!!!!! but i've had it sitting in my documents for quite some time, and i thought it was high time i did something about it. if you used to follow this story and are now coming back to it, thank you for being understanding of my year and a half hiatus. please enjoy some fun and fluff!!!!! thanks y'all <3

Nobuchika looks serious. Kougami’s heart is beating faster than he cares to admit. 

Lunch is supposed to be light and easy and normal, right? But Kougami has a churning in his stomach that is getting hard to ignore. He’s hardly touched his lunch, his favorite sandwich at their favorite shop in his city. Nobuchika is here on break, visiting for another short while. It’s always just a short while. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Nobuchika tuts before smiling, reaching a hand across the table. “You look worried. You don’t need to be worried. I thought we were past the fear.” 

Kougami reaches out and takes Nobuchika’s offered hand, eyes downcast towards the empty mug that sits on Nobuchika’s coffee table. “Sorry,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “We are past it, I just, well...” 

“Old habits die hard, isn’t that what they say?” When Kougami raises his eyes, Nobuchika’s are soft with a kindness that makes Kougami felt as stupid as could be. 

“The phrase ‘we should talk’ just sounds kind of ominous, okay?” 

Nobuchika laughs quietly. “I suppose it is. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

Kougami sighs, running a hand through his ever-obstinate hair. “You don’t need to be sorry,” he squeezes Nobuchika’s hand. 

Six months into this and Kougami should know better than to be scared, he tells himself. He ought to know that whatever happens to be will be something they can work through together. They’ve been doing long distance, seeing each other and sharing each other’s spaces every few weeks, but nothing long-term, nothing steady. Still, they have learned each other’s rhythms. Kougami knows he can call at any time, and Nobuchika will be ready for at least five minutes on his next break, whether it’s a layover or a morning on a day off. 

“So what is it you wanted to talk about?” Kougami steadies himself, ready for anything. Or so he thinks. 

“I think I’m ready for us to move in together.” 

Kougami’s jaw drops. “W-what?” 

“I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks, and I’ve talked it over with Mika, and with her being accepted to college here, it only makes sense that I would move here, don’t you think?” 

Kougami’s head starts to spin. This is what he has wanted for months now. He laughs, actually laughs, long and loud, without holding back. 

The thing about long-distance relationships is that you can hardly ever truly let loose. When you’re apart, everything aches with the knowledge that thing would be better if you could be with the one you love. Every good meal Kougami enjoys when Nobuchika is away is filled with longing, every dog he walks past on his way to work could be Dime. 

Even when they’re together, in the back of Kougami’s mind is always the fact that Nobuchika is going to leave, that it isn’t permanent. 

The idea of that nagging reminder, that painful reality that colors each and every interaction, going away is enough to bring Kougami to tears. They fill his eyes as he laughs. 

“Hey,” Nobuchika says, “Kou, you don’t need to cry.” 

“Who’s crying?” Kougami says defensively, wiping the tears away firmly. “I was laughing hard, that’s all.” 

Nobuchika releases Kougami’s hand and brings both of them up to cup Kougami’s cheek, forcing eye contact. 

“You really are a moron, you know that?” Nobuchika says with a quiet affection that leaves Kougami feeling exposed. 

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” Kougami replies before leaning in for a kiss, all he can think to do to distract from the vulnerability. Not that he minds it, but still. 

Nobuchika kisses back, and they are smiling against each other’s lips, giggling and grinning like children, like their wait is finally over - because it is. 

“So what made you change your mind?” 

“Who said I changed my mind?” 

“It sounded like a pretty resounding ‘no’ a few months ago.” 

Nobuchika rolls his eyes. “You are so headstrong and you rush into everything, so you couldn’t possibly understand.” 

Kougami does his best to look offended, although he genuinely is confused. “I don’t understand.” 

Nobuchika sighs, resigned and long-suffering as always. 

“Do you remember when you asked me to quit my job?” 

It’s Kougami’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“Like I could ever forget what a class one idiot I am. Of course I remember.” 

“Maybe it’s hard for me to explain, and you need to listen without getting angry, okay?” 

“Of course. You act like I’m a volcano always about to erupt.” 

Nobuchika narrows his eyes, but there’s still a playful glint to them. “You kind of are.” 

Kougami gapes. “Am not.” 

“Anyhow,” Nobuchika continues on, ignoring Kougami’s offended surprise, “it’s not that I just wanted to say no. It wasn’t just a no. It was a ‘not now,’ I guess.” 

Kougami feels himself growl just a tiny bit. “You could have explained that, you know.” 

“Listen without getting angry, remember?” Nobuchika pokes Kougami’s side. It tickles. 

“Ah!” Kougami recoils from the tickle, a tiny affection for Nobuchika’s gentle touches welling up in him. 

“I have to think things over for a long time, and making major life changes isn’t something that just comes naturally and easily to me, like it does to you.” 

“I-” 

“There’s nothing wrong with you being that way, Kou,” Nobuchika doesn’t let Kougami interrupt him. “It’s just that we’re different that way. And maybe I wasn’t very good at making it clear, but I want us to be together just as much as you do. I just needed some more time.” 

Kougami takes a deep breath, letting it sink in. A small part of him is frustrated with himself for being so dense about the whole thing. It’s not that he completely doesn’t understand Nobuchika, it’s just hard for him to relate. He always comes to decisions quickly. Maybe that’s why he’s never been able to love someone before: he’s always made such quick judgments about people. He’s not good at changing his mind. 

“Hey,” Nobuchika pokes him again. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” 

“Sorry,” Kougami mumbles. “I’m just thinking that... I’m sorry I’m so bad at all of this. I jump into things and this thing - I mean you and me - has just been so good that I just wanted all of it at once even though that’s selfish and...” 

Nobuchika lets the pause hang between them, giving Kougami space to think and say what he needs to say. 

“And I want to give you what you want,” it hurts to say the next words, “so are you sure this is what you want?” 

Nobuchika smiles. His eyes crinkle around the corners, as though he knows how hard it was for Kougami to say that, because yes of course it was hard, “Yes,” he says without missing a beat. “I’m sure.” 

This time, tears truly well up in his eyes, and Kougami can’t help but let them spill out. 

“I’m so glad,” is all he can manage. 

Nobuchika gently guides their foreheads together. “It’s hard to be apart.” 

“It is,” Kougami agrees, unable to hide how he sniffles. 

“I’ll still have to leave for work.” 

“I don’t care,” Kougami answers unhesitatingly. After a pause, “what about Mika?” 

Nobuchika pulls back from their connected foreheads. “It’s not going to be a problem, with her being here.” 

“She’s not just doing for us-I mean, you?” 

Nobuchika snorts. “Mika is not the sort to do something that she doesn’t truly want to do. Not for me, not for anyone. If she doesn’t feel that she’s supposed to, she won’t. I don’t think you need to worry about her.” 

Kougami’s memory flies back to the first time he met Mika, how her eyes were suspicious and sharp, smart and seasoned for someone her age. As protective as she is of Nobuchika, Kougami knows he’s right, she does what she needs to for herself. 

“Anyway, eat the rest of your sandwich, you goof.” 

Kougami’s cheeks color. He has nothing to say in his own defense. 

As soon as he's able, he pulls out his phone and sends a frantically (excited) text to Akane. 

_“Akane!!!”_

_“What is it?”_

_“He wants us to move in together!!”_

_“??????”_

_“!!!!!!!!”_

_“I don’t know what to do with myself.”_

_“I think it’s time to start looking for a bigger apartment, don’t you? ;)”_

The next few weeks are something of a blur. Somewhere between achingly slow and way too fast, the day(s) of moving arrive. Akane and Kougami spent a few endless days searching for a bigger apartment, somewhere close to the airport and not too far from work. He and Nobuchika FaceTime as they walk through each choice until they settle on a spacious two bedroom. 

“You’re sure you don’t mind not seeing it first?” 

Nobuchika’s face is blurred on the phone screen, but his voice comes through clearly. “I trust Akane’s judgement.” 

“Hey! What about my judgement?” Kougami asks, indignant. 

“Yours too. But we all know who the real level-headed one is. Isn’t that right, Akane?” 

“You flatter me.” 

“Anyway, sign the papers. I’ll get on the lease later.” 

“If you say so,” Kougami answers. “I’ll call you later.” 

“I’ll be on a long leg, so it’ll be a while before I can call you back.” 

“It’s okay, Gino. I’ll talk to you soon.” 

“Okay, bye. And bye Akane!” 

“Byeeee!” She calls, smiling. 

After Kougami hangs up the phone, Akane puts her hands on her hips, looking around the apartment with her eyes dancing. 

“I guess it’s time to get a move on, literally.” 

Kougami grins to match her smile. “I guess it is.” 

Shion, Kunizuka, and Kagari all pitch in at different times. Shion takes it upon herself to direct everyone just where the furniture should go, and as much as Kougami hates to admit it, she’s spot on. 

He and Kagari get some quality time together carrying such furniture, and Kougami finds himself warming up to Kagari more and more. 

“And Akane walks up to this couple in the park, right? She can’t help herself when it comes to puppies and babies, and they had one of each. She’s so cute when she’s like that-” 

“Oi, Kagari,” Kougami interrupts him, shifting the weight of the desk that they’re carrying. It isn’t heavy, but it is awkward.

“Yeah?” 

“I’m glad she has you.” 

“Huh?!” Kagari almost drops the desk. 

“Hey, don’t kill me!” 

“Sorry,” Kagari regains control of the task at hand. “I thought this day would never come, is all.” 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain,” Kougami says, grunting as they set the desk down. 

“Nah,” Kagari stands up, brushes his clothes. “You wouldn’t be a proper friend if you trusted me in the beginning.” 

“Well, it isn’t the beginning anymore, is it?” 

Kagari grins. “No, it’s not.” 

Akane waltzes into the apartment with two suitcases full of clothes in hand. “Geez, finally,” is all she says. 

A stab of guilt runs through Kougami, but Akane leans up to ruffle Kougami’s hair. 

“I understand.” 

“You’re half my heart, you know?” He says before he can stop himself. 

“I know.” 

“That’ll never change,” Kagari pipes up. “It’s good for you guys.” 

Kougami smiles. He should have been more understanding, but they love him anyway. It’s a good feeling. 

+++ 

He stands at the airport, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, wondering what it will be like to watch both Mika and Nobuchika walk down from the terminal. 

It isn’t until just then, as Kougami stands at the airport, that he realizes that he is actually terrified. He’s terrified of Mika. Not of Nobuchika leaving, not of Dime. It’s Mika who holds his unending terror. 

Both Nobuchika and Mika walk out from the terminal, Dime’s leash in Mika’s hand while Nobuchika holds their carry-ons. 

“Kougami,” she says curtly, though he could swear there’s a smile in there. 

“Mika,” he inclines his head politely. 

“Hey, don’t forget about me,” Nobuchika’s soft voice teases. 

“How could I?” Kougami looks at him, exhales a deep breath because finally, finally they can be together. 

“Okay, okay, let’s move this show along,” Mika interrupts their moment. 

“You’re right,” Kougami says quickly, taking one of the carry-ons from Nobuchika. “Baggage claim is this way.” 

“Come on, boys, let’s get you settled,” she says without looking back. Kougami notices that her shoulders are loose, not tense or stiff the way they were when he first met her. 

Maybe it will be okay.


End file.
